Fishing Tackle

I have never been fishing, so have never had the chance to play with fishing tackle (that sounds funny). I know some bloggers that i read, love this hobby, but i am yet to be convinced whether i would enjoy it. Don't get me wrong, i can sit on my arse for hours with the best of them, but would i enjoy it without the comforts of home?

Q:What is the richest fish in the world?
A:A goldfish

Hot Zombie

Happy Halloween Folks, lets all sacrifice a Goat! Okay maybe just a chicken that's already dead and make it into a nice sandwich.

Over here in sunny (gloomy) Britain Halloween is not celebrated that much at all, just annoying older kids/teenagers knocking on your door demanding treats. If you dare to say no they egg your car, well not at my house because i would chase them down the road with a pitched fork. You should always have a pitched fork handy to chase annoying teenagers and sales men (its my hobby).

Actually if i opened the door dressed as i was on Saturday they would probably run anyway, although i was called a hot zombie (high praise indeed). Why was i dressed up like a hot or not zombie? Every year for the past three years my sister Jemma has had a Halloween party on the Saturday nearest to Halloween. This year it also doubled up as a leaving do for them, as they left for Hamburg on Monday. Jemma and the kids will be back for a while but Ste officially starts work this coming Monday, so he has to stay over there and get a house sorted.

I put the minimum effort into my outfit,a bit of make up, fake blood on face, mess up hair and whack on a blood stained lab coat! Voila! you get this:

Run children! Run!

The outfit is perfect for making cocktails as i get to spill things and it just blends in with the blood stains. Ste (sisters fella) has some very funny friends and they always put a lot of effort into their outfits, from a German Solider, Edward Scissor Hands, Mel B, Afro Man and a Nun. Men love to dress up and seem to relish the chance to wear women's clothes.

After one too many cocktails strange things start to happen, Mel B getting it on with Hitler wearing a wig.

Happy Halloween!

Wordless Wednesday 30

Legless

That picture above is the good leg of the cupboard monster, I restrained myself and have not posted the scars/open wound photo's (yet).
I don't have much news for you as the doctors cant agree on whether its broken or not and the physios wont touch the mother until they know for sure what is happening. The mother is still in a lot of pain and has mentioned wanting the leg amputated, which may seem extreme. I doubt they would do that anyway as she wouldn't be able to heal properly.

Although in pain she is still in good spirits as always, just a bit pissed off. The specialist should get around to see her at some point tomorrow so will know more then!

Home again

Hey all! I am home from house sitting and have tons to do, so will update on mum progress shortly.

Google Buggers

I suppose i shouldn't be surprised that google punished me for having sponsored links on my blog, but don't they know i am a poor student! I would rather they just sent me an email saying your blog has been a bit crap lately so we are changing your rank from 4 to 2, than penalising me have having sponsored posts on here. Anyone that reads this blog knows which is the sponsored stuff and i have never encouraged anyone to click on something they shouldn't or wouldn't want to.

To be honest i don't really know much about page rank at all and was only aware of it because of paid posting, but now when i see crap blogs with a better pr than mine i am a wee bit annoyed. I also mean no offence to the google gods, but give a girl a break!

Thrifty Halloween and the Orange Evasion

I am not the biggest fan of orange. In high school, we were “the Tigers” and our colors were, yes, orange and black. This meant things like orange band uniforms. Orange school jackets. Orange gym clothes.

Now picture that I have red hair. A tall and clumsy teenage girl with red hair in a bright orange gym uniform is not exactly inconspicuous. One’s lack of athletic ability cannot slip under the classmates’ radar when you are day-glow in your entire person. It’s pretty much the equivalent of entering Jurassic Park with a couple of raw filet mignons tied around your neck. You are ASKING for trouble.

It does not endear a person to the orange.

Add this to my mother’s fondness for Early American decorating in harvest colors, where shades of orange, avocado and marigold lit up every room, and you can imagine my worldview has been a bit like the inside of Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater’s wife’s domicile…
If, you know, Pete had a bit of a 70s retro-Colonial bent.

The thing is, avoiding orange for Halloween and Thanksgiving decorating is not the easiest thing to do. And so I find myself using my comforting friend Purple, and my buddy Blue to help me compensate for the necessity of the less-appreciated shade.

I have also almost conned myself into believing that I don’t decorate with orange at all. It is “amber.” Or, in a very slippery moment, “topaz.”

(I’m in marketing professionally, so semantics like this help me get through the day.)
But thrifting this year really came through for me in terms of creating a harvest look for fall while practicing a reasonable orange evasion.

A few weeks ago, I found these marvelous Imperial Grape tumblers in blue carnival glass for just $0.99 a piece at my favorite Salvation Army store.


This was followed by recent adventures in the Pottery City Antique Mall, in East Liverpool, Ohio, where I managed to pick up a set of six more glasses, PLUS a pitcher, for $30—more pricey than the average thrift, but a lot of pieces for the money. I’d also grabbed four amber Carnival glass goblets (yes, I know they LOOK orangish, but humor me) for $8 at Vivian’s in Columbiana, Ohio.

And then this very Friday, I struck gold at the Salvation Army again. Beams of heavenly light and a chorus of angels didn’t QUITE erupt as I entered the store and saw the grape-patterned Carnival centerpiece bowl and matching lidded candy dish that went with my set….

But it was close.


And there WAS a brief moment of thrift-induced hysterical laughter in the car.

So I’ve been noodling around with my new goodies to pull together a Halloween-acceptable look that is more harvest than haunted. You can see the centerpiece bowl in action here, filled with some brightly colored beaded fruits I sometimes use for Christmas displays. The plates are my great-aunt’s Haviland Limoges in a pattern called Aquitania.



In addition to some shiny purplish-blue curtain sheers I’m sneaking in as a makeshift tablecloth, I’d added a little embroidered tablecloth and some embroidered napkins (thrifted at a quarter a piece!) to enhance the sense of abundance.

I’ve added similar pieces to the mantle—this is the beloved candydish of Friday, along with some of my more harvest-looking Victorian whiteware pottery.




And here is my new friend, a papier mache boy in costume, who just tickles me to no end. I don’t think he’s old, but he looks it. And he was $5 at the L&L Fleatique in Adamsburg, Pennsylvania.

I love his sweet little face.


Other inexpensive ways of carrying the Halloween and Harvest theme through without over-oranging myself have been through some cute signs I’ve picked up at Michael’s and Big Lots-- like this one on the front door…


In the kitchen...


And on the door to my attic... (Reads “Ghost in the Attic: Antiques and Books”-- and yes, there ARE a lot of books up there! )


Lastly I got these fake pumpkins in white and green. I’m not really happy with them here in my entryway-- I probably need to move them to somewhere in the diningroom-- but this gives you an idea, anyway.


So while I know I’m probably in the minority for not caring a lot for orange, it is possible to decorate for the autumn holidays without relying TOO TOO much on, er, amber... topaz... or um, marigold.

If you missed last year’s more spooky holiday decorating, you can see that by clicking here.
Otherwise, have a happy Halloween, a great week, and I’ll see you again next Monday when I think we’ll talk about my latest decorating swap!

Thrifty Halloween and the Orange Evasion

I am not the biggest fan of orange. In high school, we were “the Tigers” and our colors were, yes, orange and black. This meant things like orange band uniforms. Orange school jackets. Orange gym clothes.

Now picture that I have red hair. A tall and clumsy teenage girl with red hair in a bright orange gym uniform is not exactly inconspicuous. One’s lack of athletic ability cannot slip under the classmates’ radar when you are day-glow in your entire person. It’s pretty much the equivalent of entering Jurassic Park with a couple of raw filet mignons tied around your neck. You are ASKING for trouble.

It does not endear a person to the orange.

Add this to my mother’s fondness for Early American decorating in harvest colors, where shades of orange, avocado and marigold lit up every room, and you can imagine my worldview has been a bit like the inside of Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater’s wife’s domicile…
If, you know, Pete had a bit of a 70s retro-Colonial bent.

The thing is, avoiding orange for Halloween and Thanksgiving decorating is not the easiest thing to do. And so I find myself using my comforting friend Purple, and my buddy Blue to help me compensate for the necessity of the less-appreciated shade.

I have also almost conned myself into believing that I don’t decorate with orange at all. It is “amber.” Or, in a very slippery moment, “topaz.”

(I’m in marketing professionally, so semantics like this help me get through the day.)
But thrifting this year really came through for me in terms of creating a harvest look for fall while practicing a reasonable orange evasion.

A few weeks ago, I found these marvelous Imperial Grape tumblers in blue carnival glass for just $0.99 a piece at my favorite Salvation Army store.


This was followed by recent adventures in the Pottery City Antique Mall, in East Liverpool, Ohio, where I managed to pick up a set of six more glasses, PLUS a pitcher, for $30—more pricey than the average thrift, but a lot of pieces for the money. I’d also grabbed four amber Carnival glass goblets (yes, I know they LOOK orangish, but humor me) for $8 at Vivian’s in Columbiana, Ohio.

And then this very Friday, I struck gold at the Salvation Army again. Beams of heavenly light and a chorus of angels didn’t QUITE erupt as I entered the store and saw the grape-patterned Carnival centerpiece bowl and matching lidded candy dish that went with my set….

But it was close.


And there WAS a brief moment of thrift-induced hysterical laughter in the car.

So I’ve been noodling around with my new goodies to pull together a Halloween-acceptable look that is more harvest than haunted. You can see the centerpiece bowl in action here, filled with some brightly colored beaded fruits I sometimes use for Christmas displays. The plates are my great-aunt’s Haviland Limoges in a pattern called Aquitania.



In addition to some shiny purplish-blue curtain sheers I’m sneaking in as a makeshift tablecloth, I’d added a little embroidered tablecloth and some embroidered napkins (thrifted at a quarter a piece!) to enhance the sense of abundance.

I’ve added similar pieces to the mantle—this is the beloved candydish of Friday, along with some of my more harvest-looking Victorian whiteware pottery.




And here is my new friend, a papier mache boy in costume, who just tickles me to no end. I don’t think he’s old, but he looks it. And he was $5 at the L&L Fleatique in Adamsburg, Pennsylvania.

I love his sweet little face.


Other inexpensive ways of carrying the Halloween and Harvest theme through without over-oranging myself have been through some cute signs I’ve picked up at Michael’s and Big Lots-- like this one on the front door…


In the kitchen...


And on the door to my attic... (Reads “Ghost in the Attic: Antiques and Books”-- and yes, there ARE a lot of books up there! )


Lastly I got these fake pumpkins in white and green. I’m not really happy with them here in my entryway-- I probably need to move them to somewhere in the diningroom-- but this gives you an idea, anyway.


So while I know I’m probably in the minority for not caring a lot for orange, it is possible to decorate for the autumn holidays without relying TOO TOO much on, er, amber... topaz... or um, marigold.

If you missed last year’s more spooky holiday decorating, you can see that by clicking here.
Otherwise, have a happy Halloween, a great week, and I’ll see you again next Monday when I think we’ll talk about my latest decorating swap!

Broken again

Well the cupboard monster has excelled herself this time and managed to turn a simple weekend pass into a surgical mess.
Agonising pain was felt at some point last night by her, whilst i was at house sitting. Then at 7.30 am i got a call off younger sister Heather saying that an ambulance had been called. Fast forward to now and she is knocked out because of the pain, awaiting emergency surgery to stabilise a broken leg. The broken leg is not the one recently operated on, it is the one that was originally broken a few years ago. I am not sure what else they can do with that leg as its has already been pinned, had a donor bone, bone putty, wiring and more.


I will update when i know more.

Saturday Photo Hunt- Pink

In this weeks PhotoHunt, the theme is PINK. I am not a girly girl, so no pink around me. So i thought i would post a photo of my sisters foster baby, who left last week. I think she is definitely pretty in pink and is very much missed by our family. The gruesome twosome nearly squishing her are my two nephews Ewan and Connor who are also leaving me and going to live in Hamburg.

Hope everyone has a great Saturday, i will be getting drunk at my sisters Halloween/Leaving party.

Feeling sorry for myself

I am still drowning in my own ear juice, coughing up phlegm babies and generally feeling like crap. I cheered myself up by looking after my college chums little fella, I make a mean sheet tent and rule at balloon rugby.
While I had fun doing that, I had to rush back here (computer central), write posts like mad before bogging off back to house of doom. Can you tell I am really fed up with house sitting?

Wordless Friday 1

Costa Rica

My dad has a somewhat uncool hobby, he is a twitcher! By twitcher i mean Bird Watching, by bird watching i mean the feathered kind (he is not a perv).
On his quest to see new species, he occasionally plans a big trip abroad. His last one was to Costa Rica, but there was no Costa Rica Hotel for him. He was either staying with locals, in a hammock or bunking with a annoying American couple(his words).
When traveling from the UK it is a good thing to look into every site that you can, like Costa Rica Travel which has an excellent Costa Rica Directory. This is because its a long trip and you want to make the most of every minute you have there, especially if you want to see a Resplendent Quetzal.

The Antarctic next for him!

This is a Sponsored Post
(with real dad information)

Your worst relative?

Most people have a relative that they generally dislike, come on i know you do. In my case its my mother's sister, not the eldest one.
Why do i dislike her so? The are many reasons, she added several middle names to make her sound more posh, says she is from where she lives now and wont admit to being from a 'rough as' council estate, hardly visits my mum when she is in hospital. There is more but i will leave at that for now.
Doesn't she sound lovely, next week she is inflicting herself on Arizona. Let's hope that some Arizona luxury real estate catches her eye and she stays there.

A weekend pass

The cupboard monster has a free weekend pass to return to her cupboard, then she must return back to the hospital for more poking and physio.
Although this is not an ideal scenario at least she gets to come out and spend some quality time with the family, especially with Jemma going on Monday. So she will be released at some point tomorrow till Sunday.
I feel like crap today because the Ear Juice hath returned with a vengeance and its giving me bad headaches. It looks like i will have to have gromet's put in to get some fresh air into this brain of mine.
I am sick of house sitting and cant wait till Tuesday when i can be back in my own bed and be able to use the internet all night if i want.


I found this appropriate joke:

A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist if there is anybody in Room 27.
She goes and checks, and comes back to the phone, telling him that the room is empty.
"Good," says the man. "That means I must have really escaped."

Halloween Party on Saturday

For the third year now my sister Jemma is having a Halloween Party, its always on the Saturday before Halloween. This is also doubling up as a leaving do for her and the family, so it will be a good one.
Costumes and cocktails are essential ingredients at her party, if your not wearing one your not coming in. I will be wearing a blood stained lab coat yet again, not sure what to wear underneath, maybe nothing?I am also in charge of the cocktails once again, frog spunk anyone? Will post some recipes when i get a chance.
Here is a selection of photo's from last years bash, that is not me in that lab coat it twas a foul impostor! (Even on Halloween i don't quite look that scary).

The skeleton on the bog is Stella not actually a child who drank too much. The children where safely locked in a room away from drunken adults.

Hopefully there wont be as much mess to clean up this year as most things have been packed away for the move, from the kids toys to the office furniture.

Wordless Wednesday 30

Bed and Breakfast

The house i am looking after at the moment use to be a Bed and Breakfast. Its a lovely big house, with its own bar. The only ones who have enjoyed the bar so far is my nephews serving me copious amounts of juice in beer glasses.
I have been tempted to take photos of the house, but i feel a bit cheeky and i am sure it would invade the owners sense of privacy. Although i may accidentally take photo's of my nephews in every room.
Talking of Bed and Breakfast's, I really would like to be staying in one right now, the weather here has turned to gloom and I am itching to get the hiking boots on. So i have been looking at places i want to go in the US and Canada for my big trip for the millionth time. A Colorado bed and breakfast would do nicely indeed at the moment. In fact anywhere along the Rocky Mountains would be cool.

Cupboard Monster the Home Coming

The Cupboard Monster should be on her way home soon, it was meant to be today but i think she was getting a little ahead of herself there. She has healed from the op really well and the first lot of physio also got the thumbs up.
Cupboard monster is sick of been poked and prodded, anything from catheters, IV bags to a pulse oximeter. So she is more than ready to be safely shoved backed into her cupboard, lets just see if the doctors agree with her. I will update this post before i have to go back to other house, thanks for your continued well wishes, it has cheered me up.

Using a pen

Well today i have gone a little post crazy but i haven't actually posted anything that was in my priority list. This is because those posts need a good deal of thought and attention, at the moment i have neither thought nor attention to spare.
When did i lose the ability to sit down with a pen and actually write something? It would save me a fair bit of time, if i could scribble my thoughts whilst sat on the loo, in the bath, watching telly or before i go to sleep.

I am off to house of boredom, meaning no internet, meaning its crap, meaning a squillion more paid posts tomo!

Remember any Hamburg info greatly appreciated!

Horrors of Home Cooking: Recipes of Yesteryear

As Halloween approaches, our minds turn toward symbols of the harvest.... Of falling leaves.... And of good old-fashioned home-cooking.

Many years ago, Lea & Perrins decided to contribute to those images of home and hearth, with a helpful recipe book entitled “100 Ways to Be Original in All Your Cooking”...

Original:

This means “adding Worcestershire sauce to everything including your Jell-O molds.”

Today, as my little tribute to humor writer James Lileks’ “Gallery of Regrettable Food,” we will take a trip into the past. Back to a time where “Original Dishes Men Like” (read: meat, meat and more meat) were sought and prepared with love and spring-form pans...

Where the secret to “gracious living and fine eating” was available in one simple bottle...

And when the culinary creations before eating, and during digestion, tend to look roughly the same.

Also because I found the cookbook at the Good Samaritan Thrift Store really cheap.

We begin here...

Lea & Perrins tells us Men like:

Stew in a fancy silver chafing dish! And what stew is it? Why “Company Stew”!

Maybe it’s just my anticipation of the upcoming film, but I’m getting a bit of a Sweeney Todd vibe here...

“Did the police ever find Betty’s missing boarder?”

“No, it’s quite a mystery. But speaking of Betty, did she give you a quart of her Company Stew? She’s so generous, she’s given some to half the neighborhood! You know, I served it to Bob and the kids last night, and it was simply divine! That boarder sure did miss out on a some gracious living and fine eating!...What, you found some spectacles in yours? How strange!”

The fine print tells us this is “a man’s meal everyone in the family will enjoy.” According to the cookbook, Men also like:

--Corned Beef Hash Surprise (the surprise being-- you guessed it!-- Worcestershire Sauce)...

--a Frankfurter and Baked Bean Crown (standing hotdogs on end in beans will make your husband feel like the King of His Castle)

--And Colonial Cheese, referred to as a “bitey cheese spread for a successful stag party”...

I don’t know... the picture above looks more like what happens after the stags devour pizza and a few too many Rob Roys. But hey-- to each his own.

And now...

I can see it now. “Mmmm, honey, Crusty Chicken Livers and Mushrooms on Toast! You sure are original!”

If chicken livers were a morning food, why haven’t the breakfast cereal people caught onto this?

Oh, forgive me... crusty chicken livers. And they’re crusty because we are to “roll livers in biscuit mix” and “fry livers until golden brown and crisp.” The theory, I suppose, being that if you coat them in something innocuous, you can even turn the largest organ of the chicken’s body into a “Gourmet dish for an elegant brunch.”

I can’t say I’ve ever heard of “elegance” involving toast. But then I don’t get to the really posh places.

And now we’re going to...

These are Flamenco Veal Chops. The caption reads, “Confetti colored sauce to brighten the bland taste of veal.”

I know I haven’t attended many parties lately, but this does not look like confetti to me. In fact, the only comparison to a party I can easily make is to the Prom Scene from “Carrie.”

I love how they have a little dish to the side with a ladle in it in case anyone wants extra sauce. Now who doesn’t appreciate an optimist?

---

Okay, here’s something I bet a number of you can identify with...

Your 16 year old son has barely uttered two words to you since he started high school. Your 14 year old daughter is going with that greaser who’s into all that Rock And Roll. And you want to create a dinner that will really bring the family together. So you grab your bottle of Lea & Perrins and...

...All aboard the Meat Loaf Train!

This had to be a sure-fire way for families to know Mom had cracked under the strain of society. Cute, yes. but the very fact that she spent time cutting asparagus into tiny bits so she could load up a Meat Car means she’s either had one too many PTA meetings, or has been hitting the cooking sherry in the pantry.

Pretty soon she’ll be saying she’s seen space ships and forming a replica of Devil’s Tower in the mashed potatoes. Yeah, it’s anachronistic. But still...

----

Now let’s..

This doesn’t appear to be enough to serve eight people, but maybe they’re properly taking into account the amount folks will want when they see it. In which case, this could feed crowds on almost Last Supper levels.

What IS it, you ask? “Curried King Crab with Sweet Sour Sauce.” And the caption reads, “Far East cuisine with a chutney-type relish to impress company, yet simple enough to allow you to be a relaxed hostess.”

Did you know the key to Far East cuisine is Worcestershire sauce from the UK? It’s a little-known fact that Marco Polo used Lea & Perrins as a part of his culinary exchange program; he brought pasta from China to Europe and traded them Worchestershire Sauce from England. The history books just somehow skip over that detail.

-----

Okay, get out that confetti again and put on the Lawrence Welk because it’s time to:

The items in the middle? They’re Filled Puffs.” The caption here reads, “Tiny bubble filled with ‘oh boy, what is it?’”

Sometimes additional commentary really is unnecessary.

------

And lastly let’s...

This is Pizza Plus. The Plus means only one person gets cheese on their slice of pizza. But the rest of the folks get a taste of everything including whole pearl onions. Italian Sausage slices and... er...

What is that series of exclamation points over on the left-hand side?

OH, it’s artistically-arranged ANCHOVIES! How silly of me not to recognize them right away.

All with a tomato-Worcestershire sauce. No oregano, basil or other traditional Italian seasonings are apparently necessary. (We are being “Original” after all, and Italian seasoning on pizza is just SO cliche,) The Worcestershire Sauce does all the work.

It’s suggested that this pizza be served “hot with tall cold drinks.” I suspect tee-totalers will be reaching for a beer when presented with this one.

“Marge, I didn’t know you drank!”

“Funny, I just took it up.”

Well, dear folks, that is the end of our culinary horrors for today. To continue the theme of humor and housekeeping, I also bring you my recipients of the “Make Me Smile” award. I was presented this by fellow-blogger Carrie at “Oak Rise Cottage”-- so kind of you, Carrie!-- and I thought it might be fun to share a few online venues that make ME smile as well.

Click here to visit the Make Me Smile page. Otherwise, I hope to see you next week!