Sunday, July 20, 2008

Giggles over Wiggling, Jiggling Jell-O


"The Joys of Jell-O Gelatin are never ending."

That's what a thrifted recipe book-- " The New Joys of Jell-O" assures us. And certainly when you can make anything with it-- from the tantalizing jellied prune whip, to an antipasto salad that uses vinegar, salami and lemon gelatin-- well, you've pretty much got variety up the wazoo.


But the recipes weren't the actual reason I bought this book. I mean, sure, I could pluck the very most molded and gooey creations and scare everybody here silly with them, including myself. But it's time I grow up and demonstrate that I'm more mature than that...

So I'm going to make fun of the book's lifestyle shots.

"The New Joys of Jell-O" was set in the early 70s. A time where women were just beginning to re-enter the workforce. Where people of color were being featured more regularly on TV and in film. And where every housewife knew that when bringing a dessert, it was absolutely critical to match that dessert to one's outfit...

Like our neighbors here...


Nancy Neighbor is always showing off. Every get-together, it's all fancy Jell-O dessert and color-coordinated kaftan. She doesn't even really want to be here. Look at that forced smile. Notice how she won't quite look us in the eye?


She was fighting with her husband, Norris Neighbor, all the way over here. She feels we aren't refined enough to truly appreciate her Jell-O creations. Norris, by the way, is a detective in Barney Miller's precinct. And he knows Nancy's been cheating on him-- cheating with the guy who stocks the Jell-O down at the supermarket. They'll announce their divorce next week.

And it looks like Norris already has his eye on you.


Speaking of outfit-to-Jell-O coordination...


When serving Jell-O parfaits, it's absolutely critical to dress like one. It sets the tone, the atmosphere. Given the time period, having a party where people of different races intermingle was rather daring and forward-thinking of Jell-O. It tells us that whether you're black, white, purple or green, Jell-O is happiness and racial harmony... It brings us all together! And just to further emphasize the happy relations of people of all colors and creeds, the parfaits that match the hostess' dress are, yes, black and white. Subtle, eh?

The man pictured on the right doesn't look too happy, though, does he?

I think he's listened to laughing boy's jokes on the left just a few too many times and is trying to tune out.
"Please, let this party end soon... Please let this party end soon... So help me, I hate this guy."

Here, the Brady Bunch kids make Jell-O to sell and raise money for their parents' anniversary present...


But because Marcia and Bobby ate everything they made, the young Bradys ended up having to go on a variety show and sing instead. This is one of the outtakes.

Moving on-- Ahhh, nothing like Jell-O logs melting before an open fire!...

But what's happening here?...

As Sue and Steve flirt in their matching turtleneck sweaters, Kim is comforted only by the warmth of her sheepdog skin vest and yet another glass of Chianti.

Hey, Kim, it looks like you spilled some on the rug! Oh, no-- nevermind. That's just the pattern.


Ah, the wedding day! Doesn't the bride look beautiful? And what better to complement a happy occasion than a Nerf football readily handy on the buffet table, offering easy access for a post-ceremony pick-up game?

Wait-- my mistake-- that's actually Creamy Bleu Cheese Salad which uses Dream Whip Whipped Topping, Bleu Cheese, Cream Cheese and, of course, Lemon Jell-O. Mmm-mmm. This will be a feast that couple is destined never to forget!

Well, okay, I know SAID I wasn't going to share any recipes with you today, but I thought I might include just two...

Mrs. Lovett was very economical. What she didn't use in her meat pies went into her desserts. Black cherry Jell-O? Maybe... maybe not. Only she and Sweeney Todd know for sure.

And in the "Things You Never Thought Of" chapter, I must say, I have to agree with the Jell-O people...


I never would have thought of glazed hors d'oeuvres using dill, vinegar, cayenne, bayleaf and Lemon Jell-O over finger sandwiches...

And I hope to never think of it again, too.

Jell-O is groovy!

And so are you, for stopping by today!


Hope you're having a terrific summer!

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