Treasure Box Wednesday: Treasured Humor

I had kinda of an amusing incident at the Goodwill the other day, and I wanted to remember to share it with you folks.

I had taken my lunchbreak at a local Goodwill branch and found a couple of goodies to my joy, one of which was a CD with some tunes I'd wanted to add to the 80s mix on my iPod.

The sign above them read that the CDs were kept in the back, to prevent theft. Totally understandable. More thrifts are keeping the discs safe in folders at the registers, so items don't just "walk away." I've gotten a lot of decent CDs this way.

So I continued shopping and then took my purchases up to one of the store's two registers just like any old time.

First, the cashier and I commiserated on the choice of music, she sharing a fondness for 80s tunes, and having owned the album herself in her youth. All perfectly normal...

And then she grabbed the store PA microphone:

"Cyndi Lauper-- She's So Unusual. That's Cyndi Lauper-- She's So Unusual, could someone please bring that CD to the front register, please? Cyndi Lauper..." 

Her words echoed throughout the entire store like the voice of a very efficient, very music-savvy deity.

The woman behind me in line looked as startled as I was and we both broke out laughing. 

It's a really good thing I'm not shy about sharing my music tastes, though I have to say, I can think of very few albums I'd really want to have announced over the loud speakers to the Wide World of my fellow shopping Goodwillers.

I imagine they did this because they have two registers and wanted the disks in neutral territory, for easy access from both, but I think there has to be a slightly better way.

Anyway, I hope all of you fine readers celebrating the Christmas holiday find yourself merrily in tune with the season. Thank you all for making it such a great year here at The Thrift Shop Romantic.

Treasure Box Wednesday: Treasured Humor

I had kinda of an amusing incident at the Goodwill the other day, and I wanted to remember to share it with you folks.

I had taken my lunchbreak at a local Goodwill branch and found a couple of goodies to my joy, one of which was a CD with some tunes I'd wanted to add to the 80s mix on my iPod.

The sign above them read that the CDs were kept in the back, to prevent theft. Totally understandable. More thrifts are keeping the discs safe in folders at the registers, so items don't just "walk away." I've gotten a lot of decent CDs this way.

So I continued shopping and then took my purchases up to one of the store's two registers just like any old time.

First, the cashier and I commiserated on the choice of music, she sharing a fondness for 80s tunes, and having owned the album herself in her youth. All perfectly normal...

And then she grabbed the store PA microphone:

"Cyndi Lauper-- She's So Unusual. That's Cyndi Lauper-- She's So Unusual, could someone please bring that CD to the front register, please? Cyndi Lauper..." 

Her words echoed throughout the entire store like the voice of a very efficient, very music-savvy deity.

The woman behind me in line looked as startled as I was and we both broke out laughing. 

It's a really good thing I'm not shy about sharing my music tastes, though I have to say, I can think of very few albums I'd really want to have announced over the loud speakers to the Wide World of my fellow shopping Goodwillers.

I imagine they did this because they have two registers and wanted the disks in neutral territory, for easy access from both, but I think there has to be a slightly better way.

Anyway, I hope all of you fine readers celebrating the Christmas holiday find yourself merrily in tune with the season. Thank you all for making it such a great year here at The Thrift Shop Romantic.

Music and snogging your hand off

Tis the season and all that bollocks.... You know what I mean, have one too many sherbets, feeling a bit tiddly, drag someone into a cupboard, all in the spirit of Christmas or some such flimflam. A lot of snogging going on all around.
 


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What lurks beneath

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.
Spike Milligan

Next year my wee sister Heather will be marrying a highlander and this means kilts, lots of them. So on one of our recent marathon phone conversations, the sister and I got to talking about photographs and the issue with kilts. As I am the official photographer, it is my job to capture all the moments of the day, that includes the 'kilt' shot. This is the true test of Scottish authenticity, will the kilt wearers be bollocko underneath. If they are, I have to photograph it at some point (why me!). Why does one have to capture this moment? Maybe it is some ancient kilt flashing tradition, where they startle the poor person holding the camera, forcing them to have the image burned into their mind forever and ever, well at least until after all the images have been processed anyways.

Has Heather had any recent proof of this tradition? Well apparently she does and this lead to the infamous 'Penis on the head' tale. I apologise for using the word penis, it is necessary, although I could have used tallywhacker I suppose?
Anyhoo back to the tale....

Heather was at a wedding with her fiance and spotted the wedding guest book. Heather loves to write in these things (pages and pages). The outfit she was wearing meant that she had to kneel down, so she got herself comfortable and started to write...
All of a sudden, a darkness enveloped her and then she felt something on her head (uh oh).
She looks up.. big mistake.
Then as quick as the darkness came, the light was returned and the true horror was revealed.

It turns out one of John's (the fiance's) friends had decided to envelop her head with his kilt and let his penis rest on her head.

This is what I will have to deal with next year.. It may end badly for some.

Please read previous post for more sensible/ sensitive stuff and less penis (as in none at all) - It all floats to the bottom (which has nothing to do with bottoms, honest!)

Swine Socks

Finally getting over the ruddy flu! It may have been swine related, it may have not. I took the dreaded tamiflu anyways and I am not dead, so that is good. I thought I would photograph my appropriate swine like socks and whack it in a post, whilst I catch up on things. Three years of blogging is rapidly approaching, so things may possibly be changing around here very soon.....

Fluffy socks

I have a thing for mad socks, not a thing 'thing', I just like them. They are great for keeping the feet warm and more importantly, great for sliding on floors. Aren't you glad you know that wonderful piece of information about yours truly.

Pissing Down

No panic here

A year in review: January 2008

I have decided to review 2008 month by month, rather than the whole lot in one mammoth beast of a post. This also enables me to just backlink to old posts and be a totally lazy sod, woot (joking). I am cherry picking the posts that I like the most from each month, otherwise this could get rather boring indeed. Also its good for the reflective part of my counselling homework. Which means its also bad, because unfortunately I come off as quite quite mad.

So starting with January (no shit Sherlock).

The very beginning (of the year)

I started 2008 in the Scottish Highlands, after spending Christmas with Junior (younger cyster Heather). I saw Father Christmas, reindeer's and even went on a steam train. New Years Day was brought in amongst the sound of bagpipes and booze being consumed. Then as the sun set on the first day of 2008, bagpipes were played again and fireworks were exploded. 2008 began with a bang, but is that a good omen?

Welcome to 2008

Willy was born (not jeebus)

For those that have been reading this blog for awhile now, have seen my willy quite a few times. But I am not sure they all know of his origins? So if you want to know the origins of willy the non sex toy, there is even a video. If you don't know what I am wittering on about, then forget I even mentioned Willy the non sex toy....

A strange xmas present

I won a golden cock

Not wanting to continue the penis theme, especially as I am a lady, but ah well. Its a source of great pride and joy that I won a Golden Cock from Lord Likely. Its even better that my cock is better than his, well according to google anyways. Just google 'golden cock' and see whose cock is better.

My Golden Cock

The mum nearly lost her tongue, but found it again.

Back in December 2007 the doctors decided that my mum would probably lose her tongue to cancer, this of course led to hilarity and tongue twister jokes.... Who needs a tongue? In the end they decided it was just a nasty ulcer and she could keep it after all.

The return of the tongue.

There was nearly a serious sinuscide incident

My sinuses played merry hell with me all of 2008, but January was particularly horrendous and I let the world know about it. I am pretty sure I coined the term sinuscide, so I may be using that in a future defence case, just in case I happen to murder someone whilst under the influence of sinus juice.

My last marbles

Fancy a game of snakes and ladders?

This was a great counselling therapy/tool we learnt in class and turned out to be more insightful than I thought it would be.Its especially handy for those of you making resolutions that you would like to stick to.

Sankes and Ladders

I am not a geek!

I found out that wasn't a geek, but unfortunately I am an uber dork. It wasn't really that much of a surprise.

Uber Dork.

Looking into future, back into the past, hanging around the present.

This was a great art therapy exercise we did in class, I really enjoyed it. Although it was rather more emotional that I anticipated. Even looking at the pictures now make me feel anything from sad to .....

Past, Present and Future.

A glimpse of 16 year old me

Examples of my childhood doodling days and a few glimpses of a sixteen year old claire.

Old school doodles

I got probed

After all the whingeing I did about sinus trouble I finally got an appointment with an ENT specialist.It was a load of bollocks and a waste of time. So I get to moan about my sinuses all year, hooray for you....

Claire gets probed

To sum January 2008 up, I was grumpy and miserable! bleck.

So what do you think about my January 2008? Learnt anything new about me? Do you have any standout memories from your January 2008?

February to follow soon (ish).

A carrot interlube, I mean interlude...

Whilst writing my epic review of 2008 I thought it was time for another naughtyish doodle caption time.

The Merry Whatever Caption, turned up some funny results, gosh you lot are perverts.

I am a clumsy fucker

Now that I am nearly back to my usual sunny disposition, I thought I would enlighten you on certain aspects of me. I see a lot of these "pick three words to describe you thingys" going around. I couldn't/wouldn't attempt to do that, as I think nearly every descriptive word can be applied to yourself at one point in time. Its just that certain words resonate louder for longer amounts of time. So I thought I would do them word by word, whenever I feel like it. One that has haunted me from childhood is Clumsy! Note I use the word haunted, by jove this word has fucking haunted me!

Yes, yes, I know its hard to believe, but I am a severe danger to myself. I have long given up the idea that I can actually walk through walls and doors, unfortunately I haven't given up the habit of walking into them. At the moment I have two stubbed big toes, a scabby elbow (hit hard on door frame) and a bruise on other arm from an unprovoked door attack. Not to mention the twice tripping over of cables and nearly ripping modem out of socket. That's just from the past few days, funny aint it? (No!).

I was constantly reminded as a child that I was a clumsy sod, with lots of 'watch out!' being hurled at me. If anyone is going to stand on dog shit today it will be Claire and of course it was.

Recent quote off the mum "Well you were accident prone". Gee thanks mum, now looking back at it, I think I had some form of dyspraxia.

How do I manage to survive in this world with so many dangers all around me? Fuck knows!

Examples of recent buffoonery:

Was walking along with friend, just a normal flat pavement, no hazards, seconds later.

Friend: Claire why are you on the floor?

Me: I fucking fell over!

Friend: I know, I saw you. But theres nothing to fall over.

Me: /sigh I know, it must be my ankles or something....

Friend: Need a hand getting up?

Me: Fuck off! I mean no....thanks.

As I am so clumsy, that means team sports are out of the question. Why is that? Because I am more likely to catch a ball with my face, than I am with my hands (yes that has happened, several times). So hiking is a perfectly acceptable 'sport' for me, well apart from the tripping hazards and possible falling off mountains to my death. If anyone is going to fall over whilst out hiking, guess who it is?

Picture this, I am jogging along  and catch up with mates who have hiked on a bit ahead:

Friend:What took you so long? Taking bloody photos again?

Me: Ermmm yes!

Friend: Why are you covered in mud? Are your pants ripped too?

Me: /whistles.

Friend: You fell over again, didn't you?

Me: Hahahaha no.

Friend: You did! ahahahahaha.

Me. Piss off!

Hiking is still worth it, even for a clumsy fucker like me: Check out the pictures! Hiking Posts.
So there you go, now you know that I am a right clumsy sod.

Turning tricks

Silent movie star?

Silent movie star or just me with a bra on my head.
Busy, busy, busy at the mo or just too lazy to write a proper blog post.

Farewell Olga!

Alas the strapping gal known as Olga has legged it! This time she has gone for good (unless she comes back next year) and is off to her next victim/host. Fingers crossed she gets there safely and doesn't end up in prison, its not like I would plant drugs or clam porn on her.
I connected with her via a psychic link and produced this video, which includes strong imagery of my last hours with her and a few memories from the last few weeks.

(There are some interesting sounds in this video)
(In some of the photos I may be drunk)
(Its not me vomiting)

I hadn't realised just how long Olga had been here with me and how much she has been up to, until today when I looked through all the posts. I have had loads of fun and having Olga about definitely gets you off your arse. I have been pulled up a few times for calling Olga a 'she' instead of an 'It' or even just a 'bra'. I know its hard to describe the phenomena that is Olga, but just go with it. It has been a delight having Olga with me and I would like to point out that behind every great bra is a great mistress.

If you have missed any Olga posts click the link and have a read! You will be amused.
Olga's time with Claire

Don't forget that Olga has her own blog, so make sure you keep up with her adventures!
You never know whose blog she will turn up on next.
Olga the travelling bra

Its Drowsey Day

Feel sleepy? Off your food? Confused? Then you may be suffering from Drowsey. Are you wondering why I am spelling Drowsey with an e? Read on.

An ode to Drowsey

She may think that everything looks like a ruddy chicken,
She may not get the movie reference 'Frickin'.

I wonder if her food is finger lickin?

She is more confused than a budgie drunk on baileys.
But she reads our blogs like they are the most popular dailies.
She has a doll, but did you know she lost the bloody monkey!
I don't know whether she smells a little bit funky?

She has a gigantic head (she said it).
Also has an unnatural love of all things widget.
She believes in cheesus,
But probably doesn't know Bevis.

She pretends that she is ever so nice.
But I think she likes a bit of spice.
When it comes down to a bloke called Vincent,
She would like to do things that are positively Indecent.

What about the time she tried to poison her mother.
I wouldn't be surprised if she married her own brother!
I think she is really an alien from Outer Space.
Why else would she cover half her face?

I may not know if this is an Ode or a Limerick?
But who gives a shit, I know she loves a gimmick.
What I do know, is that Drowsey,

You are most definitely NOT lousy!

Welcome to world of Drowsey! 

Congradubloodylations on lasting a year without your head exploding.

(Olga made me do it).

Ninja Olga

Yesterday I posted about Olga and The Beatles, look below this post for that one.

Pubs were involved.........



Check the Doodle Week blog for latest contest: Doodle Week

Olga and The Beatles

After the trauma that Olga suffered I figured she needed and deserved a wonderful treat, but what? After interviewing her, I found out that she loves The Beatles and guess who lives right near Liverpool..... Me!
I must confess to not actually being much of a Beatles fan, so this whirlwind photographic adventure was a education for me too.
The areas that we took photographs were Strawberry Field, Penny Lane and Mathew Street.
The majority of photographs where taken in and around Mathew street, which is a veritable treasure trove of all things 'Beatles'.
If you want to see the photographs individually Click here: Olga does Liverpool.

Farewell post for Olga tomorrow!
She is finally leaving me.
(Hooray)

Which Willy lost it?

Olga is safe! But she is too traumatised to be interviewed at the moment.

Maybe tomorrow after she has had a few drinks.

Fembots are not a threat!

For some reason Dr Evil and Fat Bastard agreed to a phone interview.
Here is how it went.
(it gets rather disturbing so be warned!)

What on earth is going to happen next!
(No really, what is going to happen next?)

Frickin Evil captors revealed!

The cruel bastards have sent photographic evidence that they have Olga to Olga's Blog mistress, see here.

BRA-NAPPED

The two Willy's have managed to get some more video footage and photographs.

What now? Maybe these can help?

Fembots!

UPDATE

Forget the first puny fembots!

Look who is coming to Olgas aid!

MONSTER FEMBOT