What lurks beneath

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.
Spike Milligan

Next year my wee sister Heather will be marrying a highlander and this means kilts, lots of them. So on one of our recent marathon phone conversations, the sister and I got to talking about photographs and the issue with kilts. As I am the official photographer, it is my job to capture all the moments of the day, that includes the 'kilt' shot. This is the true test of Scottish authenticity, will the kilt wearers be bollocko underneath. If they are, I have to photograph it at some point (why me!). Why does one have to capture this moment? Maybe it is some ancient kilt flashing tradition, where they startle the poor person holding the camera, forcing them to have the image burned into their mind forever and ever, well at least until after all the images have been processed anyways.

Has Heather had any recent proof of this tradition? Well apparently she does and this lead to the infamous 'Penis on the head' tale. I apologise for using the word penis, it is necessary, although I could have used tallywhacker I suppose?
Anyhoo back to the tale....

Heather was at a wedding with her fiance and spotted the wedding guest book. Heather loves to write in these things (pages and pages). The outfit she was wearing meant that she had to kneel down, so she got herself comfortable and started to write...
All of a sudden, a darkness enveloped her and then she felt something on her head (uh oh).
She looks up.. big mistake.
Then as quick as the darkness came, the light was returned and the true horror was revealed.

It turns out one of John's (the fiance's) friends had decided to envelop her head with his kilt and let his penis rest on her head.

This is what I will have to deal with next year.. It may end badly for some.

Please read previous post for more sensible/ sensitive stuff and less penis (as in none at all) - It all floats to the bottom (which has nothing to do with bottoms, honest!)