I want to ride a bicycle and stuff

At the age of 27 I have found myself in the awkward position of not being able to ride a bike, or at least not effectively. How did this tragic event occur?
Firstly the mumborg being in hospital a lot was not conducive to bicycle learning time and the dad had to juggle the siblings, work, mumborg and I. Although I still think they could of squeezed this vital skill in somewhere.
Secondly I never actually got a new shiny bicycle of my own, I got a second hand bmx thing from somebody or other which was a dangerous beast and built for a boy type person.
So things were not looking good for me at all, especially when thirdly I have the coordination skills of somebody with two left feet dancing to the wrong rhythm, backwards and upside down (that bad).
What limited time I did spend riding bicycles was not fun at all, I was too scared to go fast and couldn't get the hang of those wretched gears and brakes. It is not a good idea to put your feet down instead of braking, this can lead to painful and embarrassing situations. Please keep the guffawing to a minimum as you read the rest of this tale.

Whilst on holiday in some lovely part of the country, Suffolk I think, the dad decides we should hire bicycles for the day. At the time I probably thought it was a great idea, it would soon become apparent that it was nothing of the sort.
Picture this, Dad in the lead whizzing round country roads followed by us lot (mum, sisters and me) when he signals that we should all stop. These were one way country roads and sometimes they proved to be rather dangerous. So immediately, instead of applying the brakes, I put my feet down and some how end up on the floor. That was bad enough, but did it end there? Oh no no no. Heather my younger sister had not even learnt to put her feet down to stop, let alone use the brakes. So guess what? She proceeded at speed to ride over my head and down the road until the dad stopped her.
Luckily enough I survived the incident with no injuries, apart from a few cuts. Oh! I nearly forgot to mention the big fuck off tread mark across my forehead! Did I get tea and sympathy? Did I heck as like. It became a family gem of a tale and I don't think I have ridden a bike since. Not that you could really blame me after that horror story.
So what now? Am I resigned to just these two feet of mine? Or do I attempt to mount a two wheeled steed once more? At least I could get a shiny new bike and a big pink helmet ( wow that sounds wrong). Do they do bicycle lessons for buffoons?

I suppose this falls under the category of 'Doing things that could make you look foolish, but you want to anyways' kind of thing.

Other News:

In a recent blog post I requested your votes to send me on a penguin filled adventure. Whilst it it something that I would love to do, it is becoming abundantly clear that I will not be winning. The company will get a shit load of publicity and I will get nothing, so sod that for a lark. I will just have to wait my turn to molest the penguins and build the worlds biggest snowman

Heather the runner over-er has once again started blogging, it will probably last about a week, but you never know. At the moment she needs advice on teapots, teacups and wedding invites, so let the hordes descend on her blog.

Mumborg update: It is always fun in mumborg world. I have lost count how long she has been in this time, month and a half I think. Time flies when you are having fun and all that.

Previously in mumborg world....

Doctor type person: We shall let any infection clear up before/if we operate again.
Mumborg: Okay

Present day in mumborg world:

Doctor type person: Oh it looks like you have an infection, we better operate!
Mumborg: Okay

My opinion on the matter? I have to wonder at the doctor type persons thinking on all things mumborg. I know she is a difficult case, but it is getting increasingly frustrating when they appear to have no clue on how to handle the mumborg. The mumborg manages to stay cheery no matter what, which further proves my theory that she is in fact a clone gone wrong.

Latest news: Awaiting swab results, if there is any infection they will operate.