worrying me

I am an avid worrier (if theres a word for it). In fact, I’m actually worried right now that I’ve somehow picked up worrying to keep myself busy.

I can’t remember when it started. When I was eight, I remember worrying that I was going to miss my school bus. The bus made one stop in my neighbourhood, and that stop was at that corner house with the mango tree, right opposite my street. I would always be waiting half an hour before the bus was due – any later and it would’ve been my parent’s fault, I’m sure.

I grew up starting to read ‘Peter & Jane’ at the age of five. Then, during my first year at school, I was introduced to the world of books – the school library. I was absolutely absorbed. I remember spending time at the library after school hours, choosing my books wisely. I was delving into the biographies of famous inventors and philosophers. I remember Marie Curie being my favourite. Then it hit me – I was worried I couldn’t remember all the facts and dates and I would probably never be able to go through all the books I wanted to at the school library. I eventually started reading biographies more than my supposed textbooks.

When I grew up, I found countless other things to worry about – my homework, assignments, projects, friends, boys, social habits and my future. Today, I am still worrying about my future.

Thus having given some thought into this progressive habit of mine, I decided to seek some advise from the Master himself:

Yes. Buddha. I mean, look at him! Four angry twerps having a go at him and he’s just sitting there, laid back without a wrinkle on his forehead. He’s not a bit worried AND he’s drawing in the girls. Now thats just magic. So I decided he was the man for the job.

So what did Buddha say?

" The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly."

Um, not really working for me. Lets try a few others:

"You can never worry your way to enlightenment" - Ed Northstrum

I’m sure Buddha never did.

"If you see ten troubles coming down the road, you can be sure that nine will run into the ditch before they reach you" - Calvin Coolidge

That’s comforting.

"Rule number one is, don’t sweat the small stuff. Rule number two is, it’s all small stuff" – Robert Eliot

Robert Eliot, my life is not “small stuff”.

"Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere" – Glenn Turner

Yeah ok. I can relate to that. I’ll settle for that.