Against the Grain with Funny Recipes from Riceland Rice

Rice: a staple... versatile, filling and-- in spite of its mild-mannered exterior-- still able to raise eyebrows with the best of 'em. That's what we'll see here today as we take a peek between the covers of this 1970s Riceland Rice cookbook.

Prepare yourself for a world where political correctness just meant you'd pulled the lever the whole way down in the voting booth...

Where multi-culturalism meant putting cheap souvenir travel figurines next to the plate...

And where high cuisine looked like a crime scene on CSI.

Welcome to Riceland Rice...


We peel back the cover and immediately notice that ideas of what's in good taste have, um, changed a bit since the 70s...


From the cheerful stereotypical coolie mascot brandishing bowls of perfectly-cooked long grain rice, to the company's tagline, "Riceland Rice: Velly Nice!", I suspect their marketing firm spent most of their R&D time brainstorming during a Charlie Chan film festival.

But that's not the only good taste in question here. Because today's tastebuds might just find themselves swimming for shore over this "Tuna Time-Saver"...

"Meetings all day? No crisis about dinner with this casserole ready for the oven! And, its creamy, bubbly goodness and browned cheese topping will soothe your shattered nerves."

Personally, my nerves would not be soothed by a main dish that seems to be not only drowning in a swamp of cream of mushroom, but smiling about it.

Is it just me, or doesn't it look just a bit like a whole clown-car going down for the count under a tidal wave of white face paint?


Also, notice the random conch shell, the fish-shaped serving dish holding oyster crackers, and the potted plant on the table. They're there to say to the reader, "This is seafood. It's natural and festive. Pay no attention to the fact that the main dish is gurgling for a lifeguard on its third time going under."

This proven 70s decorating technique of Using Many Decorative Items on the Table to Distract From the Fugly Main Dish is leveraged again here, with "Robin Hood's Chicken"...


While less visually off-putting than the Tuna Time-Saver, certainly, I really can't figure out why this is called Robin Hood's Chicken. I don't recall any tales of Robin Hood robbing from the rich and then making a skillet casserole. But then again, I'm not perhaps as well-read as I should be in this historical time period.

Perhaps after a full-day of plundering and pillaging, Robin and his Merry Men enjoyed sitting around Sherwood Forest with a nice fry-up containing the free-range Nottingham woods chicken, peas, carrots, rice from a country they didn't know existed yet, and ketchup.

Or perhaps Robin just stole the meal from a lost nobleman who'd picked up take-away. Hard to say.

Should you decide to make this dish, don't forget to decorate the table in a smirking Robin Hood toby jug, an Errol Flynn feathered hat and some arrows!

Well, maybe rethink the arrows. The guests may get ideas once the indigestion kicks in.

And speaking of guests and indigestion, here we have the "Riceland Rice Oyster Ring"...

"Oysters take on new glamor and new taste in this exotic main dish.. yet it's simple as A-B-C- to make."

Yes, those are some glamorous oysters there. If "glamor" means looking a bit like something that needs to be lanced by your favorite health care professional.

You know, in most of these photo spreads, I've felt the surrounding decor has been over-the-top and unnecessary. But here, I have to take that back. Those three tiered glasses of mixed drinks really say something.

They say, "You might need a few toddies before attempting to dip in to this oyster ring. Blurred vision here is an asset."

I agree with them.

And while we're talking about blurred vision, no, this dish isn't really blurry. It's supposed to look that way. It's "sensational Indonesian Chicken-Shrimp Superb"...


My readers from Indonesia, feel free to pipe up here with your feelings on this dish. Does it remind you of your homeland? Just like mother used to make?

Um... no, I didn't really think it did.

But the cookbook says:

"Cooks in Asian countries are masters at combining unusual food combinations for sensational flavor. Here, shrimp, chicken, peanut butter and seasonings make a delicious and subtle blending of complementary flavors... A real conversation piece!"

And that conversation probably starts something like, "Oh, my, Gladys-- is that Crunchy Jif I taste?"

Note: don't forget to add dancing porcelain figurines to the table for color and interest... Also random oyster crackers to give your guests something to do while they push the main course around on their plates.

And now, let's head back to the U.S. with "Ham 'n Rice Unique"...


What makes this unique is its exotic blend of American cheese and, um, American cheese. The Crime Scene Investigation Unit will discover the precise molecular composition of that blend, once they conclude that it's okay, foul play had not occurred here.

"No, no, sir, we've determined that this wasn't the remains of a stabbing victim. This is just ham, shortening and tomato soup. Also a blend of American cheeses."

"Good work, men! Now bag it, tag it and send it off as leftovers."

Why is it, though, that so many of our casserole dishes from the 50s-70s looked like high-speed car crashes? Was it to assure us that what we were eating really had passed on?

Well, we'll find no answers here. And probably not with this next dish, either-- in the American Frontier, where the men were men and the "Frontier Beef Stews" used Worchestershire sauce from England...


The stew itself actually is one of the better-looking meals in this cookbook. I just wanted to show you that the next time you're looking for an attractive table centerpiece, look no further than your husband's gun cabinet!

From buckshot to beautiful in seconds!...

(Note: The Thrift Shop Romantic does not actually endorse putting weaponry of any kind on the dinner table... She is simply a smart aleck. Thank you. -The Management)

Now, I hear you folks saying to me, "Well, rice is nice, Jenn, but it's so... WHITE. I'd love to use it, but what I'd really need is to camouflage some of the other ingredients in these recipes. How can I do that?"

Fear not, my friends-- Riceland Rice has got you covered! Now you can "Tint it different colors!"...


From adding food coloring to make it any shade of the rainbow, to coloring it with maraschino cherry juice or carrot juice to add that extra flavor, "dress up a meal" in a kaleidoscope o' ricey color!

And how does that work out?

Well, just take a gander at the Bayou Country Creole Shrimp below, with rice simmered in tomato and cayenne pepper...


The tomato-cayenne makes the rice a nice and natural pink-- and really showcases the athletic abilities of the shrimp leaping through those sliced green peppers below.


You know, down in the bayous, they train shrimp to leap through hoops as a part of a miniature traveling circus show. It's gotten very popular over the years. People go down to New Orleans now for the jazz, Mardi Gras and synchronized shrimp swimming...

Little known fact.

But what if your guests can't eat shellfish and other meat? Or what if they just object to dining on something that's been trained to do splashy aquatic performances for crowds?

Well, then you serve them this "Glamour Vegetable Platter"...


Yup, it's that "glamour" again. Sure, many folks might think of glamour being a Hollywood film premiere, a major awards ceremony or an artistic magazine spread.

We Riceland Rice readers know it's really grated sharp cheese and mixed veg over cooked tomato slices!

Well, I'm afraid I'm all glamoured out for today, friends. I mean, this much exotic entertaining... this much sparkle and flavor... I just need to go and reevaluate my whole perspective on rice-based cuisine.

And I hope you all had fun today, as we went against the grain with everything we thought we knew about rice.

• If you missed Wednesday's post on Flowers, Feathers and FairyTale Finds, click here.

Otherwise, I hope you'll swing by this coming Wednesday as we succumb to Pyrexia, we go a bit deco and we wend our way along Route 30 antiquing.

Hm... think now I'll go make a casserole! Where's the ketchup?

Against the Grain with Funny Recipes from Riceland Rice

Rice: a staple... versatile, filling and-- in spite of its mild-mannered exterior-- still able to raise eyebrows with the best of 'em. That's what we'll see here today as we take a peek between the covers of this 1970s Riceland Rice cookbook.

Prepare yourself for a world where political correctness just meant you'd pulled the lever the whole way down in the voting booth...

Where multi-culturalism meant putting cheap souvenir travel figurines next to the plate...

And where high cuisine looked like a crime scene on CSI.

Welcome to Riceland Rice...


We peel back the cover and immediately notice that ideas of what's in good taste have, um, changed a bit since the 70s...


From the cheerful stereotypical coolie mascot brandishing bowls of perfectly-cooked long grain rice, to the company's tagline, "Riceland Rice: Velly Nice!", I suspect their marketing firm spent most of their R&D time brainstorming during a Charlie Chan film festival.

But that's not the only good taste in question here. Because today's tastebuds might just find themselves swimming for shore over this "Tuna Time-Saver"...

"Meetings all day? No crisis about dinner with this casserole ready for the oven! And, its creamy, bubbly goodness and browned cheese topping will soothe your shattered nerves."

Personally, my nerves would not be soothed by a main dish that seems to be not only drowning in a swamp of cream of mushroom, but smiling about it.

Is it just me, or doesn't it look just a bit like a whole clown-car going down for the count under a tidal wave of white face paint?


Also, notice the random conch shell, the fish-shaped serving dish holding oyster crackers, and the potted plant on the table. They're there to say to the reader, "This is seafood. It's natural and festive. Pay no attention to the fact that the main dish is gurgling for a lifeguard on its third time going under."

This proven 70s decorating technique of Using Many Decorative Items on the Table to Distract From the Fugly Main Dish is leveraged again here, with "Robin Hood's Chicken"...


While less visually off-putting than the Tuna Time-Saver, certainly, I really can't figure out why this is called Robin Hood's Chicken. I don't recall any tales of Robin Hood robbing from the rich and then making a skillet casserole. But then again, I'm not perhaps as well-read as I should be in this historical time period.

Perhaps after a full-day of plundering and pillaging, Robin and his Merry Men enjoyed sitting around Sherwood Forest with a nice fry-up containing the free-range Nottingham woods chicken, peas, carrots, rice from a country they didn't know existed yet, and ketchup.

Or perhaps Robin just stole the meal from a lost nobleman who'd picked up take-away. Hard to say.

Should you decide to make this dish, don't forget to decorate the table in a smirking Robin Hood toby jug, an Errol Flynn feathered hat and some arrows!

Well, maybe rethink the arrows. The guests may get ideas once the indigestion kicks in.

And speaking of guests and indigestion, here we have the "Riceland Rice Oyster Ring"...

"Oysters take on new glamor and new taste in this exotic main dish.. yet it's simple as A-B-C- to make."

Yes, those are some glamorous oysters there. If "glamor" means looking a bit like something that needs to be lanced by your favorite health care professional.

You know, in most of these photo spreads, I've felt the surrounding decor has been over-the-top and unnecessary. But here, I have to take that back. Those three tiered glasses of mixed drinks really say something.

They say, "You might need a few toddies before attempting to dip in to this oyster ring. Blurred vision here is an asset."

I agree with them.

And while we're talking about blurred vision, no, this dish isn't really blurry. It's supposed to look that way. It's "sensational Indonesian Chicken-Shrimp Superb"...


My readers from Indonesia, feel free to pipe up here with your feelings on this dish. Does it remind you of your homeland? Just like mother used to make?

Um... no, I didn't really think it did.

But the cookbook says:

"Cooks in Asian countries are masters at combining unusual food combinations for sensational flavor. Here, shrimp, chicken, peanut butter and seasonings make a delicious and subtle blending of complementary flavors... A real conversation piece!"

And that conversation probably starts something like, "Oh, my, Gladys-- is that Crunchy Jif I taste?"

Note: don't forget to add dancing porcelain figurines to the table for color and interest... Also random oyster crackers to give your guests something to do while they push the main course around on their plates.

And now, let's head back to the U.S. with "Ham 'n Rice Unique"...


What makes this unique is its exotic blend of American cheese and, um, American cheese. The Crime Scene Investigation Unit will discover the precise molecular composition of that blend, once they conclude that it's okay, foul play had not occurred here.

"No, no, sir, we've determined that this wasn't the remains of a stabbing victim. This is just ham, shortening and tomato soup. Also a blend of American cheeses."

"Good work, men! Now bag it, tag it and send it off as leftovers."

Why is it, though, that so many of our casserole dishes from the 50s-70s looked like high-speed car crashes? Was it to assure us that what we were eating really had passed on?

Well, we'll find no answers here. And probably not with this next dish, either-- in the American Frontier, where the men were men and the "Frontier Beef Stews" used Worchestershire sauce from England...


The stew itself actually is one of the better-looking meals in this cookbook. I just wanted to show you that the next time you're looking for an attractive table centerpiece, look no further than your husband's gun cabinet!

From buckshot to beautiful in seconds!...

(Note: The Thrift Shop Romantic does not actually endorse putting weaponry of any kind on the dinner table... She is simply a smart aleck. Thank you. -The Management)

Now, I hear you folks saying to me, "Well, rice is nice, Jenn, but it's so... WHITE. I'd love to use it, but what I'd really need is to camouflage some of the other ingredients in these recipes. How can I do that?"

Fear not, my friends-- Riceland Rice has got you covered! Now you can "Tint it different colors!"...


From adding food coloring to make it any shade of the rainbow, to coloring it with maraschino cherry juice or carrot juice to add that extra flavor, "dress up a meal" in a kaleidoscope o' ricey color!

And how does that work out?

Well, just take a gander at the Bayou Country Creole Shrimp below, with rice simmered in tomato and cayenne pepper...


The tomato-cayenne makes the rice a nice and natural pink-- and really showcases the athletic abilities of the shrimp leaping through those sliced green peppers below.


You know, down in the bayous, they train shrimp to leap through hoops as a part of a miniature traveling circus show. It's gotten very popular over the years. People go down to New Orleans now for the jazz, Mardi Gras and synchronized shrimp swimming...

Little known fact.

But what if your guests can't eat shellfish and other meat? Or what if they just object to dining on something that's been trained to do splashy aquatic performances for crowds?

Well, then you serve them this "Glamour Vegetable Platter"...


Yup, it's that "glamour" again. Sure, many folks might think of glamour being a Hollywood film premiere, a major awards ceremony or an artistic magazine spread.

We Riceland Rice readers know it's really grated sharp cheese and mixed veg over cooked tomato slices!

Well, I'm afraid I'm all glamoured out for today, friends. I mean, this much exotic entertaining... this much sparkle and flavor... I just need to go and reevaluate my whole perspective on rice-based cuisine.

And I hope you all had fun today, as we went against the grain with everything we thought we knew about rice.

• If you missed Wednesday's post on Flowers, Feathers and FairyTale Finds, click here.

Otherwise, I hope you'll swing by this coming Wednesday as we succumb to Pyrexia, we go a bit deco and we wend our way along Route 30 antiquing.

Hm... think now I'll go make a casserole! Where's the ketchup?

International Tour de Force with Breast-O'-Chicken Recipes

Breast-O'-Chicken. The name says... well... tuna, with a serious identity problem, actually. But not just any tuna with a serious identity problem, oh no! This is tuna with a serious identity problem, circa 1949, AND which is brought to you by:

"...A venturesome expedition to waters where this aristocrat of game fish, the fighting tuna, tests the skill of brawny men, so that the tables of the nation may enjoy a sea food which has no equal in flavor, nourishment and versatility!"

Gosh, I can almost see the American flag waving, can you? Bless you, oh Brawny Fishermen for risking life and limb to bring tuna, which thinks it's barnyard fowl, to my family's table!

And when the Breast-O'-Chicken folks talk versatility, they mean it! In Breast-'O-Chicken Brand Tuna Recipes by Frank Decatur White, we will journey to the ends of the earth and see exciting ways to tame the fighting tuna into a delicious, nutritious, versatile and oh-so-international cuisine.


Let us start by stepping South of the Border, with "Breast-O'-Chicken Mexican Pie"...


Mmm-mmm! Put on your sombreros, mi amigos, and dig in to this muy delicioso combination of American Cheese, tomatoes, tuna, chili powder, red beans and corn meal.

What--? Didn't you know American cheese was an important ingredient in all things Mexican? Well, Mexico is after all in North America, isn't it? American cheese is clearly for everyone.

And you know how our compadres in Mexico love to use tuna in all their traditional dishes. Gosh, enter any true Mexican restaurant and you'll be treated to a wide array of dishes featuring none other than our friend, the aristocratic fighting tuna.

Tuna tacos... tuna burritos.... tunachangas... The beef and chicken and refried beans we instantly think of when we think of Mexican food is, in fact, just a myth. Tuna really is what makes our brothers and sisters to the south say, "Olé!"

And what about our friends across the waters in Asia? Have they not experienced the protein-filled goodness that is canned tuna? Why, yes, they have! With "Tuna Oriental"!...



What makes this so gosh-darned Oriental is the exotic, Far East flavor of... um.... peas... Er, and... panfried bacon... And.... tomato soup? And... mushrooms?...

Hm. Well, I can probably stick to sight-seeing when I go to China next, since apparently they eat everything we eat over here.

Oh, wait! Chow mein noodles! It's served over Chow Mein noodles. That's totally "oriental"! Now, that makes it all worthwhile.

Ah, but Breast-O'-Chicken has another Asian dish for us today. Just look at this appetizing "Tuna Chop Suey" which does not in any way appear to have fly larvae hatching in it...

Of course, this features a tin of our beloved Breast-O'-Chicken fancy tuna... But it also involves mushrooms, bamboo sprouts, celery, green peppers, soy sauce and... veal. I hadn't known veal was big over China, but apparently that's another tid-bit of information to broaden my cultural knowledge.

Gosh, these Breast-O'-Chicken folks sure are worldy, aren't they?

So now, we find ourselves heading to Europe, spirited off to one of the finest bistros of Paris. And what have we here? Why, ooh-la-la! Mouths will water over this "Souffle O'Tuna"...


Did you know the "o'" is used regularly in the French language? It is! We here in America typically misspell it as "au." But the real spelling, "o'" harkens back to a little-discussed Celtic invasion of the area now known as France. The Irish and French just don't like to talk about it.

Well, now, let's head back to the good ol' US of A, South of the Mason-Dixon line, and enjoy a nice heaping plate of "Cutlets of Tuna Southern-Style"...

These are cutlets hand-formed with love by you, from chunks and flakes of tuna-- isn't that clever? And the key ingredient in seasoning them is... Worchestershire Sauce! Perhaps they should have gotten together with the Lea & Perrins people for a nice cross-over cookbook.

I suppose when they said Southern, they were meaning Southern England-- what do you think?

Crimeny, these dears at Breast-O'-Tuna just keep making our world seem bigger and bigger, don't they?

Now, in honor of those Brawny Fisherman we were talking about earlier, Breast-O'-Tuna gives us this tribute recipe-- "Tuna Planked Steak."

This savory dish includes several tins of tuna, peas, tomatoes, breadcrumbs, milk and--- surprise-- spiced peaches! A veritable smorgasbord all in a single fish-shaped dish. I simply don't know how they come up with these mind-blowing ideas.

And just when I think we've done all that can be done with tuna, the Breast-O'-Chicken people outdo themselves once more. Like with these "Tuna City Chicken Legs..."


Why buy actual chicken which has chicken legs, when you can use your artisic talents to take a tin of fancy tuna and mold it into chicken leg shapes? It seems so obvious once they've said it, which is why we all need recipe books like this.

Arrange the molded legs into an appetizing wagon wheel shape, and then put hominy in the center, just to tie it all together. Pour onion gravy over everything!

Now, here, it might just look like the red tide's gone out in the Everglades.... But this is, in fact, "Tuna Eggplant Cutlets."

These little islands of edibles are a unique combination of eggplant, potato chips and tuna. The coloring is paprika-- apparently LOTS of paprika.

And don't forget to garnish with lemon slices! (The photographer here apparently did.)

Now what if you have to make some quick hors d'oeuvres for guests and you don't have much on hand? Well, a single tin of Breast-O'-Chicken tuna will allow you to make this eye-popping party platter....


Combine tuna with 7 hard-cooked eggs, salad dressing, bacon, olives and our nutritious friend PEANUT BUTTER and you won't have to worry about short-notice guests ever again.

No really.

You won't.

Ever.

Lastly, it's Sunday, right? And you want to treat the family to a nice Sunday dinner. Why not try the "Tuna Sunday Supper"?...


Just arrange the following ingredients into "Kilroy Was Here" faces on bread: tuna, mushrooms "little pig sausages," parsley and a thick white sauce.

Yesindeedy, that's some serious stick-to-your-ribs (and possibly spackle your drywall) home cookin'.

Well, I hope you all learned as much as I did today about the versatility and adventure associated with fancy tuna. I think it's good for us to educate ourselves like this and truly expand our horizons.

Tonight, I think I'll try that Breast-O'-Chicken Mexican pie. I've got some American cheese and tomato sauce in there just waiting to become high International cuisine.

• If you missed last Treasure Box Wednesday, as we go all jolly-holidays with Tuesday Morning, click here.

Hasta luego, mi amigos!

International Tour de Force with Breast-O'-Chicken Recipes

Breast-O'-Chicken. The name says... well... tuna, with a serious identity problem, actually. But not just any tuna with a serious identity problem, oh no! This is tuna with a serious identity problem, circa 1949, AND which is brought to you by:

"...A venturesome expedition to waters where this aristocrat of game fish, the fighting tuna, tests the skill of brawny men, so that the tables of the nation may enjoy a sea food which has no equal in flavor, nourishment and versatility!"

Gosh, I can almost see the American flag waving, can you? Bless you, oh Brawny Fishermen for risking life and limb to bring tuna, which thinks it's barnyard fowl, to my family's table!

And when the Breast-O'-Chicken folks talk versatility, they mean it! In Breast-'O-Chicken Brand Tuna Recipes by Frank Decatur White, we will journey to the ends of the earth and see exciting ways to tame the fighting tuna into a delicious, nutritious, versatile and oh-so-international cuisine.


Let us start by stepping South of the Border, with "Breast-O'-Chicken Mexican Pie"...


Mmm-mmm! Put on your sombreros, mi amigos, and dig in to this muy delicioso combination of American Cheese, tomatoes, tuna, chili powder, red beans and corn meal.

What--? Didn't you know American cheese was an important ingredient in all things Mexican? Well, Mexico is after all in North America, isn't it? American cheese is clearly for everyone.

And you know how our compadres in Mexico love to use tuna in all their traditional dishes. Gosh, enter any true Mexican restaurant and you'll be treated to a wide array of dishes featuring none other than our friend, the aristocratic fighting tuna.

Tuna tacos... tuna burritos.... tunachangas... The beef and chicken and refried beans we instantly think of when we think of Mexican food is, in fact, just a myth. Tuna really is what makes our brothers and sisters to the south say, "Olé!"

And what about our friends across the waters in Asia? Have they not experienced the protein-filled goodness that is canned tuna? Why, yes, they have! With "Tuna Oriental"!...



What makes this so gosh-darned Oriental is the exotic, Far East flavor of... um.... peas... Er, and... panfried bacon... And.... tomato soup? And... mushrooms?...

Hm. Well, I can probably stick to sight-seeing when I go to China next, since apparently they eat everything we eat over here.

Oh, wait! Chow mein noodles! It's served over Chow Mein noodles. That's totally "oriental"! Now, that makes it all worthwhile.

Ah, but Breast-O'-Chicken has another Asian dish for us today. Just look at this appetizing "Tuna Chop Suey" which does not in any way appear to have fly larvae hatching in it...

Of course, this features a tin of our beloved Breast-O'-Chicken fancy tuna... But it also involves mushrooms, bamboo sprouts, celery, green peppers, soy sauce and... veal. I hadn't known veal was big over China, but apparently that's another tid-bit of information to broaden my cultural knowledge.

Gosh, these Breast-O'-Chicken folks sure are worldy, aren't they?

So now, we find ourselves heading to Europe, spirited off to one of the finest bistros of Paris. And what have we here? Why, ooh-la-la! Mouths will water over this "Souffle O'Tuna"...


Did you know the "o'" is used regularly in the French language? It is! We here in America typically misspell it as "au." But the real spelling, "o'" harkens back to a little-discussed Celtic invasion of the area now known as France. The Irish and French just don't like to talk about it.

Well, now, let's head back to the good ol' US of A, South of the Mason-Dixon line, and enjoy a nice heaping plate of "Cutlets of Tuna Southern-Style"...

These are cutlets hand-formed with love by you, from chunks and flakes of tuna-- isn't that clever? And the key ingredient in seasoning them is... Worchestershire Sauce! Perhaps they should have gotten together with the Lea & Perrins people for a nice cross-over cookbook.

I suppose when they said Southern, they were meaning Southern England-- what do you think?

Crimeny, these dears at Breast-O'-Tuna just keep making our world seem bigger and bigger, don't they?

Now, in honor of those Brawny Fisherman we were talking about earlier, Breast-O'-Tuna gives us this tribute recipe-- "Tuna Planked Steak."

This savory dish includes several tins of tuna, peas, tomatoes, breadcrumbs, milk and--- surprise-- spiced peaches! A veritable smorgasbord all in a single fish-shaped dish. I simply don't know how they come up with these mind-blowing ideas.

And just when I think we've done all that can be done with tuna, the Breast-O'-Chicken people outdo themselves once more. Like with these "Tuna City Chicken Legs..."


Why buy actual chicken which has chicken legs, when you can use your artisic talents to take a tin of fancy tuna and mold it into chicken leg shapes? It seems so obvious once they've said it, which is why we all need recipe books like this.

Arrange the molded legs into an appetizing wagon wheel shape, and then put hominy in the center, just to tie it all together. Pour onion gravy over everything!

Now, here, it might just look like the red tide's gone out in the Everglades.... But this is, in fact, "Tuna Eggplant Cutlets."

These little islands of edibles are a unique combination of eggplant, potato chips and tuna. The coloring is paprika-- apparently LOTS of paprika.

And don't forget to garnish with lemon slices! (The photographer here apparently did.)

Now what if you have to make some quick hors d'oeuvres for guests and you don't have much on hand? Well, a single tin of Breast-O'-Chicken tuna will allow you to make this eye-popping party platter....


Combine tuna with 7 hard-cooked eggs, salad dressing, bacon, olives and our nutritious friend PEANUT BUTTER and you won't have to worry about short-notice guests ever again.

No really.

You won't.

Ever.

Lastly, it's Sunday, right? And you want to treat the family to a nice Sunday dinner. Why not try the "Tuna Sunday Supper"?...


Just arrange the following ingredients into "Kilroy Was Here" faces on bread: tuna, mushrooms "little pig sausages," parsley and a thick white sauce.

Yesindeedy, that's some serious stick-to-your-ribs (and possibly spackle your drywall) home cookin'.

Well, I hope you all learned as much as I did today about the versatility and adventure associated with fancy tuna. I think it's good for us to educate ourselves like this and truly expand our horizons.

Tonight, I think I'll try that Breast-O'-Chicken Mexican pie. I've got some American cheese and tomato sauce in there just waiting to become high International cuisine.

• If you missed last Treasure Box Wednesday, as we go all jolly-holidays with Tuesday Morning, click here.

Hasta luego, mi amigos!