Pan Roasted Baby Artichokes

Let's pretend you told me that I could only eat one vegetable for the rest of my life, and I had to choose immediately.  I'd have a quick pang about corn, and asparagus, but it wouldn't really be a tough decision.  I'm an artichoke girl at heart...I love the prickly, ornery things.  Next to nice, cooperative, easy veggies like spinach and string beans they are a pain in the neck to prepare, and usually a complete work-out to eat, but they are just so dang scrumptious.  I do love a vegetable that plays hard to get.

However, I did recently find a recipe that tames the artichoke just a little, and is a glorious, easy, versatile extravaganza of artichoke wonderfulness.  The key to this is getting baby artichokes - cute little guys that have not grown up enough to have the prickly, hard-to-deal-with choke in the middle.  Lately I have been finding them in little plastic cases in my regular old supermarket - about 9 to a case, which is perfect.  Here's what you do.

Take each baby artichoke and pull off the first few layers of those tough outside leaves.  You're looking for the more tender, light green layer of leaves towards the middle.  Once you get the outside layer off, grab your sharpest knife and lop off the stem, as close to the bottom as you can get, and the top 1/2 inch or so of the remaining leaves.  Now cut the artichoke into halves and then quarters, length-wise.  Drop the quarters into a bowl of cold water with lemon juice in it while you do the same thing to the rest of the artichokes.  It will take you about 10-15 minutes, tops, and by the end you will have worked out all your frustrations of the day.  It's very satisfying.

Now heat up about 1/4 to 1/2 inch of olive oil in a medium size skillet until it is smoking hot.  Drain the artichokes, blot them to get the water off, and then carefully add them to the oil along with a generous dose of salt and pepper.  Roast them in the oil for about 5 minutes or until they are tender...spear one with a knife to check.  Once they are tender, toss in some fresh chopped parsley, a little minced garlic and some red pepper, and stir it around for a minute.  Done!

Now, if you are going to serve them as is, you will want to scoop them out of the oil and drain them on some paper towels.  However, if you want to go direct to artichoke heaven, you can toss the whole thing - artichokes, oil, the entire shebang - into a bowl of hot pasta and toss.  Sprinkle with some parmesan cheese, a grinding of fresh pepper, and ask yourself what vegetable YOU would want if you were on a desert island.  

Artichokes, baby.

Pan Roasted Baby Artichokes, from The New York Times

• 24 baby artichokes, about 3 pounds
• Juice of 1 lemon
• Olive oil
• Salt and pepper
• Red pepper flakes
• 4 garlic cloves, chopped fine
• 3 tablespoons chopped flat-leaf parsley
• Coarse sea salt
• Lemon wedges or red wine vinegar, for serving.

1. Peel off and discard a few outer petals of theartichokes until you reach the pale, tender center. Trim the top andstem end, then quarter each artichoke. There should be no discerniblechoke, but if there is, remove it with a paring knife. Put theartichokes in a bowl of cold water to which the lemon juice has beenadded.

2. In a wide, heavy, nonaluminum skillet, heat a 1/2inch of olive oil over medium heat. Drain and blot the artichokes and,when the oil is nearly smoking, carefully add them to the skillet.Season well with salt and pepper, stirring to coat with oil. Let theartichokes brown slightly, stirring occasionally, for 5 to 7 minutes,until they are tender when probed with a paring knife.

3. Add the red pepper, garlic and parsley. Stir welland let sizzle for a minute or so. Transfer the artichokes to aplatter, sprinkle with coarse salt and serve with lemon wedges, orsprinkle sparingly with red wine vinegar. Eat hot, or at roomtemperature. 

Print this!

Linguine in Herbed Artichoke Sauce

This recipe dates WAY back to the days when the Southern husband and I were young and carefree, spending our Saturdays browsing around antique shops and street fairs and used bookstores.  We would wander here and there with our string shopping bags and not a care in the world, picking up this and that, and me being me, a lot of what we picked up were interesting cookbooks, often ones that were stacked in corners of little bookstores.  This particular recipe comes from one of those books - a terrific cookbook called SIMPLY ELEGANT COUNTRY FOODS.  The price is still there, written in pencil on the inside front cover.

Let's take a closer look at that price, shall we?

Now THAT'S what I call a bargain.  About five minutes ago when I started writing this post, I made a bet with the Southern husband about whether you would even be able to find this cookbook anywhere, lo these 20 years later.  He said no way.  I said absolutely yes.

Simply Elegant Country Foods : Downhome Goes Uptown

All I will say about THIS is that he is a gracious loser, and I am a nyah-nyah-nyah-ha-ha-ha-told-you-so type of winner.  And that I just LOVE being right.

Meanwhile, back at the recipe, it is every bit as easy and simple and elegant and delicious as it was all those years ago, and as an added bonus, it involves one of my very, very favorite vegetables.  (This picture may look familiar to my beloved frequent readers.  I love you guys.)

And before you worry, you can and should use frozen artichoke hearts - you don't have to mess with stripping and prepping fresh artichokes.  I just had this artichoke picture hanging around and I love looking at artichokes whenever possible.  Anyway,  besides the artichokes, the rest of the dish is a fast and simple concoction of onions, garlic, white wine, a teeny bit of tomato paste and heavy cream, and some herbs and spices, all tossed around with linguine.  Perfect, simple, delicious and you get to have artichokes.  Life is good.

Linguine in Herbed Artichoke Sauce, adapted from Simply Elegant Country Foods : Downhome Goes Uptown 

• One pound linguine
• 1 tablespoon butter
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 1 onion, chopped
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1/2 cup white wine
• 1 cup chicken broth
• salt and pepper to taste
• 1 tablespoon fresh chopped basil, or one teaspoon dried
• 2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley
• 2 tablespoons tomato paste
• 1 ten ounce package frozen quartered artichoke hearts, thawed
• 1/2 cup heavy cream

1. Heat butter and oil in skillet and add onions and garlic.  Saute for 3 minutes.

2. Raise heat and add wine and broth.  Stir until boiling, then stir in herbs and tomato paste.  Simmer for 5 minutes.

3. Add artichoke hearts and simmer for 2-3 more minutes.

4. Meanwhile, cook pasta and drain.  Return to pot.

5. Stir cream into the sauce, heat to almost boiling and then pour sauce over pasta and toss.

6. Grind fresh pepper over top and serve.

Click here for printable recipe.

Veal Artichoke Ragout

I'm currently in a mad, passionate love affair with artichokes.  This happens to me sometimes.  I go for these long stretches without having anything to do with an artichoke, and then I see one across a crowded room and something comes over me.

Hello, handsome.  

Now before you get the wrong idea, I didn't exactly use that dashing specimen in the picture.  Nope, this recipe uses the couldn't-be-easier frozen artichoke hearts that come in a box in your handy frozen food section, and all you have to do is let them thaw and then toss them in the ragout at the last minute.  The rest of this dish is an easy veal stew that cooks for a couple of lazy hours on the stovetop in a luxurious sauce of beef broth, white wine, lemon juice, chopped onion and garlic, rosemary, tomato paste and just a little bit of flour to make it just the right amount of thickness.  It's the perfect dish for a cold snowy Sunday when you are hankering for a comfort food dinner that is just a little bit elegant, but still simple enough to eat in your favorite old soup bowls.

Plus it has artichokes.  Did I mention my undying love for artichokes?  Just don't tell the bacon.

Veal Artichoke Ragout, adapted from Simply Elegant Country Foods

• Olive oil
• 3 onions, chopped
• 3 cloves minced garlic
• 2 1/2 pounds veal stew meat, cut in 1-2 inch cubes
• 3 tablespoons flour
• 1 1/2 cups beef broth
• 1 cup white wine
• 3 tablespoons tomato paste
• Juice of one lemon
• 1 bay leaf
• 1 teaspoon chopped fresh rosemary
• Pinch thyme
• Freshly ground black pepper
• 1 package frozen artichoke hearts, defrosted
• Grated lemon peel from one lemon
• 1/2 cup chopped fresh parsley

1. Heat 2 tablespoons olive oil in large skillet.  Saute onions and garlic until translucent, about 3 minutes.  Transfer to 5 quart Dutch oven.

2. Add another 2 tablespoons olive oil to skillet and brown the veal over medium high heat, working in batches and adding more oil as needed.  Add to Dutch oven.

3. Lower heat under skillet and add 2 more tablespoons oil and the flour, stirring to make a paste.  Add broth, wine and lemon juice, and stir up brown bits from the bottom of the pan.  Add bay leaf, spices and tomato paste.  Simmer for 5 minutes.

4. Pour sauce over the veal in the Dutch oven.  Cover and simmer for one hour.  Uncover and simmer for another 50 minutes, stirring from time to time.  

5. Add artichoke hearts and lemon peel and simmer 10 more minutes.  Stir in parsley and serve.

Click here for printable recipe

Rosemary Skewers

Yes, it is almost September (how is that POSSIBLE??) and as you know from some of my earlier posts, I am in major "use it or lose it" mode with my beloved barrels of herbs that live right outside my kitchen door.  Their days are numbered, and so I am pulling out all my recipes that involve fresh herbs so that I can have another few weeks of herb extravaganza before things start getting chilly out there.  And in case you want to join me, all my posts this week are going to feature some kind of wonderful herb or another, starting with these rosemary skewers.

I have to admit, it took me a while to warm up to rosemary.  For the longest time I only knew about dried rosemary in the jar - those sharp little needles that could be used as miniature weapons in a pinch.  But somewhere along the line I discovered soft, fragrant fresh rosemary, and a light dawned.  Now I grow it in one of the whiskey barrels outside my back door, and this summer it just went crazy..I have a TON of it.



So I took the opportunity to try out a recipe I found on the always fabulous Pioneer Woman site.  Sometimes on a Friday evening the Southern husband and I will skip actual dinner and just have some kind of interesting appetizer-type food for supper, and this fit the bill perfectly.  You take stems of rosemary - and for obvious reasons these need to be sturdy stems (which they usually are).  Strip off the leaves except for a couple of inches on the top.  Then all you have left to do is skewer whatever you like on to these gorgeous smelling skewers.  I used fresh mozzarella, grilled marinated artichoke hearts and pieces of genoa salami that had been folded in quarters.  The original recipe called for olives as well.  You could really used any kind of cheese you like,  you could try sun-dried tomatoes, pieces of folded ham...you get the idea.

Some rosemary skewers, the setting sun, and sitting outside with your honey on a Friday evening -- does it get any better?

Rosemary Skewers,  from The Pioneer Woman

• Rosemary sprigs, leaved stripped except for the top 2 inches
• Cubes of fresh mozzarella
• Marinated artichoke hearts
• Genoa salami, sliced thin and folded
• 1/2 cup olive oil
• 3 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
• Salt and fresh ground pepper
• Ground thyme

1. Thread the cheese, artichoke hearts and salami on to the rosemary skewers in any order or amount you like.

2. Mix the olive oil, vinegar and spices until thoroughly combined and then brush onto the skewers.  Arrange on a plate and enjoy!

Click here for printable recipe

Shrimp and Grits with Artichoke Hearts

Shrimp and grits, I love you way more than a Northern girl should. Maybe it is the Southern husband's influence, but I have never met a shrimp and grits recipe I didn't like, and this one is no exception. The shrimp and artichokes are cooked in a delectable lemon garlic butter sauce, and then you spoon the whole thing over some grits that have been kicked up with a little butter and parmesan cheese.

The fact that I made this recipe did not, however, stop me from making another shrimp and grits recipe with andouille sausage and roasted tomatoes several days later. I can't help myself. Stay tuned to this channel for that one, but in the meantime....

Shrimp and Grits with Artichoke Hearts

• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1 package artichoke hearts, thawed
• 1/2 cup chicken broth
• 8 ounces large shrimp, peeled
• 2 garlic cloves minced
• 1 1/2 teaspoons lemon juice
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
• 1/2 stick butter
• 2 cups cooked grits
• 1/3 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese

1. Heat oil in a large non stick skillet over medium high heat. Add artichokes and saute 5 minutes. Add chicken broth, shrimp and garlic and saute 6 minutes. Add lemon juice, 1/8 stick butter, salt and pepper. Remove from heat, cover and keep warm.

2. Cook grits according to package directions and reduce heat to low. Cook 7 minutes or until thick Stir in cheese and remaining butter and stir until melted.

3. Ladle grits onto plates and top with shrimp and artichokes. Grind fresh pepper over all.

Click here for printable recipe

Mediterranean Tuna Casserole

Okay, so this is NOT your grandmother's tuna casserole. Yes, there is tuna, and yes, there are noodles. But there are also artichoke hearts and there is also feta cheese, and there is absolutely no cream-of-anything soup. The teenager still ran screaming from the room, but the Southern husband and I loved it.

You really must use tuna packed in oil for this one. I think we have all been so brainwashed into using the packed in water variety that you now have to look hard for the packed in oil kind, but it really does make a big difference. (It's also great in this recipe for tuna salad, by the way.) The packed in oil kind has a rich, delicious flavor that the water kind just doesn't have. In this recipe it blends with the feta cheese and the artichokes to give it a little bit of an exotic Greek flavor.

So the next time you get that longing for a warm, comforting tuna casserole (and don't we all get those?), give this one a try. It makes great leftovers, too.

MEDITERRANEAN TUNA CASSEROLE, adapted from Everyday Food

• 1/3 cup olive oil, plus more for baking dishes
• Coarse salt and ground pepper
• 1 pound wide egg noodles
• 1/2 cup all-purpose flour
• 5 cups whole milk
• 4 cans (6 ounces each) tuna in olive oil, drained
• 1 can (14 ounces) artichoke hearts, drained and thickly sliced
• 5 scallions, thinly sliced
• 4 ounces feta cheese
  
• 1/2 cup finely grated Parmesan

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Lightly oil two 8-inch square (or other shallow 2-quart) baking dishes. In a large pot of boiling salted water, cook noodles until 2 minutes short of al dente; drain, and return to pot.
2. Meanwhile, in a 5-quart Dutch oven or heavy pot, heat oil over medium. Add flour and cook, stirring, 1 minute. Gradually add milk, stirring until smooth. Cook, stirring occasionally, until mixture comes to a simmer.
3. Remove from heat; add mixture to noodles in pot, along with tuna, artichoke hearts, feta cheese and scallions. Season with salt and pepper, and toss. Divide between prepared baking dishes, and sprinkle with Parmesan. Bake until golden and bubbling, about 20 minutes.

Click here for printable recipe

Artichoke and Fontina Panini

My love affair with my new panini press continues. Who knew that flattening things could be so fun and scrumptious?? At this point, I have realized that putting pretty much anything between two pieces of bread and squishing it under high panini press heat will result in something good. Yes, even chocolate. Or maybe I should say especially chocolate? Although this artichoke and fontina panini was particularly wonderful, probably because I adore both artichokes and fontina.

This is a lovely rich panini sandwich, mainly because of the fontina which is a wonderful, high-flavored cheese. (I sound very official, don't I? But trust me on the fontina. Yum.) The artichokes are the kind that come marinated in the little glass jar, so they have a nice tang to them. Ciabiatta bread and rolls are usually in the bakery section of the supermarket, but honestly any old substantial bread or roll will do. You just want something strong enough to hold the cheese and the artichokes -- in other words, Wonder Bread will not do. Even though I do adore it in a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

So there you have it, my latest in what will be a long line of paninis. Enjoy!

ARTICHOKE AND FONTINA PANINI

• 4 slices ciabiatta bread or two ciabiatta rolls, split
• 1 cup marinated artichoke hearts, chopped
• 4 ounces sliced fontina
• Olive oil
• Salt and fresh ground pepper

1. Preheat the panini grill.

2. Spread a thick layer of artichoke hearts over one slice of bread. Top with a layer of fontina. Drizzle with olive oil and sprinkle with salt and pepper

3. Grill for 4 minutes or until the bread is golden brown and the cheese is melting. Serve immediately.

Click here for printable recipe

Grand Central Market!!

So, I am LOVING all the recipes and suggestions you guys are sending me, and have been thinking to myself, Self, this is one of the best things that has come out of this little food blog adventure. How could life get any better?

Then the Grand Central Market folks called me. Life got better.

For those of you (like me) who weren't aware of this little piece of heaven in the middle of big bad New York City, it's located in the Grand Central Station terminal, and is a beautiful collection of 13 shops selling everything from wild boar salami to the best bread pudding I have ever tasted in my life, and everything in between. A few days ago they invited me down to meet some of the great folks who work there, and to sample some of the amazing treats they have to offer.

We started out at Murray's Real Salami. You know you are in heaven when you are dealing with a store that only sells salami. Or to be more specific, cooked and cured meats from all over the US and Europe. I tried to come up with the right words for the mesmerizing aroma coming out of this place, and I finally gave up. For someone who is head of the Bacon Admiration Society...let's just say they had me at hello.

Justin, who has the great good fortune to work in the middle of this aroma all day long, told me that the Cremenelli salami was very popular, and gave me a bite of the black truffle AND the wild boar salami. Let's just say that I thought I knew what good salami was before this. I didn't. Now I do. Oh my goodness. Don't live your whole life without trying this, okay?

Murray's has quite a few other goodies behind the counter keeping the salami company. I could have gotten into some serious trouble there, but I reminded myself this was only Stop #1, and I needed to pace myself. So we proceeded on to Ceriello, which sells meats and scrumptious-looking prepared foods.

This is Martin the Butcher, and this is his marinated prime dry aged ribeye steak. He explained that they marinate it in their own brand of olive oil with Tuscan spices (and I think I spy some garlic chunks in there too), and that it is one of their best and most popular items. They only sell aged beef here, which is more tender and flavorful because of scientific reasons related to the beef-aging process that I have no hope of understanding. I could practically hear the carnivourous Southern husband telling me "grab the ribeye and make a run for it!" But somehow I resisted, and besides, the great folks at Ceriello gave me a couple of these babies to try:

Oh, mama. They poured just a bit of their homemade olive oil over them first, and I thought I might faint. They are THAT good. Marinated aged rib-eye steak and blue-cheese artichoke hearts...now this is my kind of butcher, baby.

Now that I had the meat thoroughly checked out, it was time for some fish. And right across from Ceriello's was the wonderful Wild Edibles, where we had a great visit with beautiful Maggie, who looks just like Cybill Shepherd, and told us all about the great partnership Wild Edibles has with the Blue Ocean Institute.

In a nutshell, they tell you how each and every one of their fish is caught and/or farmed, so that the customer knows exactly what they are eating. In all seriousness now, I was so impressed. And doesn't it look so, so, so good??

Next stop was Penzey. I seriously cannot believe I have lived almost my entire life in the New York Metropolitan area, and not known about Penzey's Spices. Wonderful Amy at Penzey's explained that they are famous for their spice blends.



Penzeys has a load of beautiful jars of all the spices we know and love, but they also combine them together in these AMAZING blends that pretty much take you to spice heaven. They sent me home with something called "Bicentennial Rub" (salt, Tellicherry black pepper, sugar, turmeric, orange peel and coriander) and something called Northwoods Fire (salt, chipolte pepper, Hungarian paprika, garlic, rosemary, thyme, black pepper and cayenne). Uh-huh, THAT'S what I'm talking about. Where do they think these things up?? And how great that they do!! I have already used the Northwoods Fire spice in one dish already (watch for my upcoming post on coconut shrimp risotto) and ooh-la-la.



They also have a cinnamon blend that combines four, count them FOUR, different kinds of cinnamon - China, Vietnamese, Ceylon and Korintje cinnamon. It is the holy grail of cinnamon. I could be happy just breathing it in, never mind cooking with it.



Next stop...more Murray's! And this time we were talking cheese, which after bacon is my absolute favorite food group.



And Murray's has a LOT of cheese.




So I was basically finding it a little hard to breathe in and out when Julie from Murray's said, can I give you a sample of anything at all?

Why yes! I asked what she thought were some of their most delicious cheeses, and that scored me a sample of some Pleasant Ridge Reserve (a cow's milk cheese from Wisconsin). And some Kunik (an out of this world goat cheese). And, um, some of this Meadow Creek Grayson cheese.



Well, they DID ask me. And man, am I glad they did. They have over 300 different kinds of cheese, so whatever you are looking for, I'm guessing they have it.

Now that I was in a happy cheese-induced stupor, we went over to Li-Lac Chocolates. (I know, it's great to be me.) Li-Lac makes all their own chocolate in their Brooklyn factory and they have a little bit of everything, from white chocolate almond bark, to chocolate covered candied ginger, to almond toffee crunch. But mostly what they have is chocolate. Lots and lots and lots of chocolate.



Sometimes a chunk of chocolate is all that you need, especially when it is melt in your mouth delicious homemade in Brooklyn chocolate.



Or adorable bags of Halloween chocolate.



Or, maybe you like some nuts with your chocolate? I don't mind if I do. At this point I was getting, um, FULL. So the lovely Liveth from Li-Lac put together a care package for me that included a dark chocolate coconut cluster and a chocolate mousse-filled chocolate roll. I brought the second one home that night and practically had to fight the teenager for it. (It was worth the fight. And just for the record, I did split it with her, because that is just the awesome, generous mom that I am. )

So at this point I am thinking I have reached Grand Central Market Nirvana. Because really, what can be better than cheese followed by chocolate? Right?

Then I went to Dishes.



Oh my. Oh, my my my.

Dishes is basically the Holy Grail of prepared foods. Roasted brined turkey breast. Beef and fresh ricotta lasagne. Banana pudding. Grilled filet mignon with rosemary. And on and on and on, with dish after dish after dish of amazing looking food. Here is what they hooked me up with: Turkey meatballs with golden raisins and pinenuts, with lemon and cumin yogurt sauce.

A square of this AWESOME macaroni and cheese. I generously shared this with my Italian friend for lunch, because that is the loving and giving sort of friend I am (I mean, sharing mac and cheese?? that is true love) and we agreed that it was amazing. I think we actually stared into each other's eyes and said in unison, "This is AMAZING." With our mouths full.

And finally, they bestowed upon me what was probably my favorite dish in the entire Grand Central Market....this coconut apricot bread pudding. I don't even have words for this. It was creamy and sweet and wonderful and perfect. Check out that sauce it is sitting in. I have NO idea what it is, other than unbelievably good.



And last but not least, we stopped in at Pescatore, where I met the completely charming Jerry, who owns the place with his partner Glenn. (Jerry is the one in the baseball cap. As far as I know, the other one is NOT Glenn.)



Jerry explained that their shop grew out of their wholesale business, which provides fish to many of the elegant restaurants in New York...and now us home cooks can buy that same high-quality fish here at Pescatore. Their fish comes from all over the world, and Jerry said one of their missions is to help their customers discover the many terrific kinds of fish out there. And if you go to their online site...they deliver. Nationwide. Not kidding. Go.

Hi guys.

They also have a beautiful array of prepared foods, including things like this chilean sea bass filet...



And Jerry sent me home with a serving of this gorgeous sesame-crusted tuna, which made the Southern husband fall in love with me all over again. Go visit Pescatore's, folks, and make sure you say hi to Jerry for me.

At this point I had three bags worth of goodies, and was seriously considering moving to Westchester County so I could commute in and out of Grand Central Station. So my friends...if you are ever in or around Manhattan and you are even just a little bit hungry...Grand Central Market. And for all you non-New Yorkers out there, most of these places have online sites and you can order from them, so click away on all the links above.

Thanks, Grand Central Market! See you SOON!

Artichoke Risotto with Taleggio Cheese

I am obviously in some sort of creamy, grainy, comfort-food-ish zone this week, because following in the footsteps of the pastina and the polenta is this nice little risotto. As with the others, it is warm and silky and completely eat-with-a-spoonable. The recipe caught my eye because it called for taleggio cheese, which I have never had before, and artichokes, which I have had many many times and love.

Risotto is definitely best made with a patient partner, because it involves a lot of stirring. And I do mean a LOT. I have seen arguments on both sides, and have heard tell that if you don't stir it constantly for the entire cooking time it will be just fine, but in this house we are taking no chances. We stir. And to be totally honest, it is my handsome Southern husband who stirs. He is a completely reliable stirrer, which leaves me free to work on the mix-ins, thereby just squeaking under the 30 minutes or under rule.

As risottos goes, this is a pretty easy one. Basic arborio rice cooked in chicken broth with minced onion, with the artichoke hearts, cheese and a little butter stirred in at the very end, and fresh ground pepper on top. Easy, easy, easy, especially with fine stirring back-up. The recipe is adapted from I LOVED, I LOST, I MADE SPAGHETTI, by Guila Melucci -- and again, if you haven't read it, it's a good one!

Tomorrow I am breaking out of my creamy grainy zone and making...pasta! For which you will need a fork instead of a spoon! But for now, here's a nice comfortable risotto.

ARTICHOKE RISOTTO WITH TALEGGIO CHEESE

• 4 cups chicken broth
• 1 cup arborio rice
• 1/2 cup minced onion
• 1/2 cup white wine
  
• 2 tablespoons butter
• 1 cup frozen artichoke hearts, thawed
• 1/2 cup diced Taleggio cheese
• Fresh ground pepper

1. Heat chicken broth in medium saucepan.

2. Melt 1 tablespoon butter in second medium saucepan over med-high heat. Saute onions for 2 minutes

3. Add rice to onions, saute for 2 more minutes

4. Add wine to rice and simmer until wine is absorbed

5. Start adding chicken broth, one ladle-ful at a time. Stirring constantly, wait until each ladle of liquid is absorbed before adding the next one. Continue until rice is cooked, about 20-25 minutes. If you run out of chicken broth before rice is done, add a little hot water.

6. When rice is done, stir in artichoke hearts, cheese and remaining butter.

7. Serve immediately with a grinding of fresh pepper on top.

Artichoked Up Over Befuddling Vintage Vittles

Ah, Amy Vanderbilt: the Martha Stewart of yesteryear. But even Martha has her "off" days, right? (Cooking and crafting ones, I mean. Not ones that involve electronic ankle bracelets; this blog can only cover so much.)

What I'm trying to say is: not all creative ideas withstand the test of time... or, say, make it comfortably through the digestive process. And those are the recipes I hope you'll get some grins from today.

The first comes from the 1966 Amy Vanderbilt Success Program for Women cookbook, "Serving Food Attractively."


The book tells us, "Artichokes, halved, filled with jellied madrilene and topped with a slim slice of lemon are beautiful to look at and wonderful to eat." Merriam-Webster defines madrilene as "a consumme flavored with tomato." So basically, we're talking cold brothy-tomatoey jelly veg-nests here.

To look at this dish and its display-- complete with spoon-- reminds me a bit of the dinner scene in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Only they used monkey heads instead of artichokes.

But what is it we have over here? The book tells us an important part of good eating is in the presentation. So what exactly adorns our table?


Why, artichoke candlestick holders, of course! Made from fresh artichokes. And over here on the wall-- what says Old World Charm more than a wrought-iron wall plaque adorned with... yes, that's right... MORE real artichokes?


Ah, dig deep into your refrigerators, my friends-- it could be a whole new world of decorating inspiration. Store salt in your squash, pepper in your pears, and hang shallots from your chandelier to give it that special je ne sais quois (translation, "Why the heck is THAT up there?).

Do you test spaghetti by tossing a strand against the wall? Leave it. Enough pots of pasta and soon, you'll have a unique, handcrafted sculpted art installation, envied by all your closest friends who also tap into the Food Pyramid for decor options.

And when you tire of it? The candlesticks and wall art of today might just be the main course of tomorrow. There's no END to the possibilities.

Or, you could just, you know, shell out five bucks for some thrifted candlesticks and some paintings. Either way, really.

Well, how about this?

Here we are in the Tower of London. Ah!-- aren't the Crown Jewels stunning? And--

Oops, my bad. That's lamb. But, wait, what's that bubbling up from inside that little roast volcano?


A little hard to tell from here. Let's read the caption, shall we?

"Try your favorite recipe for crown roast of lamb. Top it with a combination of sauerkraut, rice and honey..."

Sauerkraut, rice and honey? So... okay, cabbage and then...

"Brussels sprouts make a flowery center for a frill of golden yams, and the spectacular spumoni make this an exciting holiday dinner."

I'll say it'll be exciting! A holiday dinner of twenty people devouring heaping plates of cabbage and brussels sprouts? And we all know what Great-Uncles Ernest and Eugene were like at the family picnic after a couple of plates of baked beans. With great mounds of these gaseous greens, a Silent Night it's unlikely to be!

Well, let's move from the holiday table to more practical, everyday eating, with the Amy Vanderbilt Success Program For Women "Casserole Cookery" book. And this book truly understands the pain of the modern 60s homemaker:

"Does your husband groan when you mention you are going to have a casserole for dinner?... Between you and me, many a delectable casserole has been made from left-overs, but husbands usually have to be shielded from the information that left-overs are the prime ingredient..."

(The poor dear flowers. So sensitive.)

"...Casserole cooking should be creative and stimulating, both in an intellectual and gustatorial manner..."

That's right, folks. "Intellectual" and "stimulating." So with that, I give you:


Kraut and Frankfurter Tahitian-- "a flavorful combination of sauerkraut, pineapple, onion, green pepper and frankfurters."

Ah, Tahiti... the waves, the breeze, the outdoor stands where you can get a red-hot with kraut on it for just under a Pacific franc.

What, you'd heard Tahitian cuisine was based on the island's French and Polynesian heritage? No, no, no! That's just for TOURISTS. TRUE island cuisine reflects all the processed meat gusto of an Oktoberfest in Munich. Remember, this dish is "intellectual." So it knows about culture and context and all of that stuff the rest of us don't. Trust the cookbook. It's a lot smarter than we are.

As proven by the inclusion of this little guy...


This is the island god, Ozca Maia. He's protector of the processed meats and ensures the prosperity of the island's vast cabbage plantations. You use him to distract your husband from the fact he's eating leftovers by prompting a fresh and exciting dinnertime conversation.

Conversation like, "Honey, what is this wooden thing, and why does it look like it's yodeling?"

That's when you tell him that yodeling was a popular ancient Polynesian pasttime, vital to tribal morale and communication. In fact, Tahitian Idol, as they called it, was the island's most popular weekly evening event.

See, how much more this cookbook knows than we do?

Now that we're done with cultural exploration of the South Seas, we move on to our friends in the North. The Far North. With "Swedish Pancakes with Tuna."


Note the gelatinous mold in the background, which is a to-scale replica of Sweden's famous ice hotel...

Or possibly the end scene in Ghostbusters after Mr. Stay-Puft exploded over that art deco apartment building.


Well, ice hotel or achitecture coated in nuked Fluff , it's an elegant way to showcase your culinary talents and distract your guests from the pot o' cheesy fishy bed-rolls before them.

Finally, today we unveil a side dish...


"Red Cabbage with Marrons and Bacon." This is described as "a delicious combination of flavors and a good accompaniment to meat, especially pork." Because, of course, what goes better with pork than... more pork? These vintage cookbooks are about nothing if not variety.

That aside, in my own ignorance, (because as I'd said before, I'm not as intellectual as this cookbook), I had to look up what marrons are. Merriam-Webster defines marrons as "chestnuts, and especially Spanish chestnuts, preserved in vanilla-flavored syrup."

So, looking at the full ingredients here, we're talking cabbage, bacon, red wine, a quarter pound of butter, and then nuts preserved in vanilla-flavored syrup?

The nice thing about this dish is how it caters to the low-cal heart-health set.

And best of all, when you're reaching for your insulin and clutching your chest from the angina, you might not even think about how much this dish looks like a human rights organization example of how undetected landmines hurt millions every year.

In the mood to read additional posts on questionable recipes of the past? You might enjoy:

• "Dubious Dinner and Riotous Retro Recipes," where sausages swim in synchronized routines and vegetarian dishes may very well be man-eating... click here

• Or "The Horrors of Home Cooking: Recipes of Yesteryear" where Worchestershire sauce demonstrates its versatility as well as its ability to instill gastronimic fear. Click here for that one.

Or, if that's not your style-- click here to check out last "Treasure Box Wednesday: In the Pink with Pottery, Pyrex and Plates."

Otherwise, I hope to see you this coming Wednesday! (Hmmm... I'm hungry. Time to remove that vegetable wall display and have a nosh.)